VLI hasn't even started yet, and I already know that there won't be enough hours in the day. Between work and commuting, I've been putting in around 70 hours a week. Add 20-30 hours for VLI, and something has to give. Maybe I need to learn the new math, so that 70 and 20 will only add up to 75.
I realize that there is wasted time in my week, that I need to learn to use better. So I made a list of things that are under my control; ways that I can change my behavior to help this work. Here's my list. I broke it down into Preparation; Ongoing - doable; and Ongoing - hard;
PREPARATION:
Buy a portable MP3 player (so I can be more flexible about where and when I listen to the MP3s).
Buy a headset for my phone (so I can do some minor chores while speaking to my parents on the phone, instead of feeling so pressured when the conversation extends into a marathon).
Get the VLI reading list early, and do most of the reading before the semester starts.
Get broadband access at home, so I can sometimes leave work 'on time', and log in later to finish stuff, rather than just staying all evening.
Tell my boss I'm going to school, to set the stage for having to leave at 5 or 6pm sometimes.
ONGING - Doable:
Stop aimless TV watching
Stop watching 11pm news
Use commute time to study
Purchase stuff online instead of driving around to stores, wherever possible.
ONGING - Hard:
Cut down on pleasure reading
Cut down on work hours
Plan social events for semester breaks, and reduce socializing in between
Eliminate clutter in my apartment, so it doesn't waste so much time finding stuff.
Eliminate clutter in my apartment, so I can hire someone to help clean.
Be more aware of birthdays and events coming up, so I can plan ahead and purchase online.
Well, that's the theory. We'll see how it works.
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Thursday, August 07, 2003
I hate change.
What happens when a person who hates change gets so uncomfortable that they have to change, whether they like it or not? I don't know, but I'm about to find out.
Most people say they hate change, but they don't really mean it. I really mean it. I like doing exactly the same exercise routine every time (assuming I do it at all, that is). I bought my apartment 12 years ago, and since then I have moved one chair, from one side of the living room to the other. And that was only because the red chair didn't grow and I did. After owning my first car for 10 years I finally bought another one. Did I mention that I bought the same make and model? I'm very happy with it. I really stretched myself by getting a different color. And my hairstylist knows enough not to even suggest layers or curls, or any different style. She gently discusses whether I can cope with the idea of cutting it 1/2" shorter this time.
So given how much I hate change, it's pretty funny that on the same day I finally decided to commit to enrolling in VLI, I also accepted a transfer at work. As it turns out, both interviews occurred within one hour. Help! Too much change! I think the universe is tipping!
What brought me to the state where something had to change? Ironically, it's sort of VLI's fault that I ended up in VLI. After reading The Heavenly Man (recommended in a VLI intensive I audited last year), I became less and less satisfied with giving God my leftovers. I realized that work had taken over my life, and in a sense needed to be demoted. I'm hoping that I'll enjoy my new job much more than my last one, which was unbearable, however the new one is very demanding. Somehow, I'm going to have to learn how to steer a balance between being a professional, and a workaholic; between supporting the project team, and the other human beings in my life.
Most people say they hate change, but they don't really mean it. I really mean it. I like doing exactly the same exercise routine every time (assuming I do it at all, that is). I bought my apartment 12 years ago, and since then I have moved one chair, from one side of the living room to the other. And that was only because the red chair didn't grow and I did. After owning my first car for 10 years I finally bought another one. Did I mention that I bought the same make and model? I'm very happy with it. I really stretched myself by getting a different color. And my hairstylist knows enough not to even suggest layers or curls, or any different style. She gently discusses whether I can cope with the idea of cutting it 1/2" shorter this time.
So given how much I hate change, it's pretty funny that on the same day I finally decided to commit to enrolling in VLI, I also accepted a transfer at work. As it turns out, both interviews occurred within one hour. Help! Too much change! I think the universe is tipping!
What brought me to the state where something had to change? Ironically, it's sort of VLI's fault that I ended up in VLI. After reading The Heavenly Man (recommended in a VLI intensive I audited last year), I became less and less satisfied with giving God my leftovers. I realized that work had taken over my life, and in a sense needed to be demoted. I'm hoping that I'll enjoy my new job much more than my last one, which was unbearable, however the new one is very demanding. Somehow, I'm going to have to learn how to steer a balance between being a professional, and a workaholic; between supporting the project team, and the other human beings in my life.
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
This is the beginning
I want to keep a record of my journey through VLI, thus this blog.
No, I'm not expecting to end up on Reality TV. In fact, I'm still not sure if I'm even going to give the blog address to anyone else. But for some odd reason, it seems less intimidating to start a blog than a journal. Maybe because I've started (and given up on) several journals in the past. Somehow I always get writer's block, because I start editing what I say until I'm afraid to say anything. And I eliminate anything personal in case anyone ever reads it. And I start obsessing about what I really think. And I feel guilty because I don't write every day. And I worry about my handwriting. And by the time you put all those obsessions together, it's not really worth bothering to write it, and it's definitely not worth bothering to read it! Which is really rather ironic, because I like to write, and I love sharing my [ahem] "brilliant" opinions.
For some absurd reason, a blog seems easier. For one thing, each time you start to write you only have one blank page in front of you, not a whole blank book. Secondly, you know at the outset that it's not private (even if you don't give out the address), so you get over the fear of someone seeing it up front, rather than agonizing over it. And, of course, let's not underestimate the advantage of a word processing and spell-check.
No, I'm not expecting to end up on Reality TV. In fact, I'm still not sure if I'm even going to give the blog address to anyone else. But for some odd reason, it seems less intimidating to start a blog than a journal. Maybe because I've started (and given up on) several journals in the past. Somehow I always get writer's block, because I start editing what I say until I'm afraid to say anything. And I eliminate anything personal in case anyone ever reads it. And I start obsessing about what I really think. And I feel guilty because I don't write every day. And I worry about my handwriting. And by the time you put all those obsessions together, it's not really worth bothering to write it, and it's definitely not worth bothering to read it! Which is really rather ironic, because I like to write, and I love sharing my [ahem] "brilliant" opinions.
For some absurd reason, a blog seems easier. For one thing, each time you start to write you only have one blank page in front of you, not a whole blank book. Secondly, you know at the outset that it's not private (even if you don't give out the address), so you get over the fear of someone seeing it up front, rather than agonizing over it. And, of course, let's not underestimate the advantage of a word processing and spell-check.