Unconditional Love

For a long time, I thought that unconditional love was not humanly attainable.

It's probably not fair to say that a childhood pet, 'Princess' , (a dog of course), came the closest.

But I had an experience on Sunday that stops me in my tracks. I visit a nursing home twice a month, and lead a church service. While the nursing home advertises it as the 'Interfaith service', in reality it is a non-denominational Christian service. We welcome people of all faiths, but we talk about Jesus.

Anyway, there is one old gentleman who often wheels his wife in. He is a visitor, not a resident. He is Jewish, and comes to the Christian service because he will go anywhere, and do anything, if it might help his wife. She is in the latter stages of Alzheimer's, and is now totally unresponsive. She doesn't talk. She doesn't even open her eyes. She sits in a semi reclining position, and drools, and he tenderly wipes her mouth. He always lets me pray for her.

Last Sunday, he wheeled her out before we finished praying for everyone, and as I was leaving the building I noticed him sitting with her in the lobby. I approached him, set my guitar down, and asked if I could pray for him. He said,
"What I really want is for you to pray for my wife. " He gently turned her wheelchair so I could reach her to touch her as I prayed. I prayed for comfort. I prayed that the Lord would intervene, and reach past the mind into the place where she now lives, and reveal himself and his truth to her. I prayed that He would reveal to her what it means to dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
He thanked me, with tears in his eyes, and told me that she has been here for 6 years, and he has visited every day. I told him that he is an example to us all. I looked at this quiet, unassuming old Jewish man, and realized that I was seeing unconditional love in action.

And he reached out to me, and pulled me close, and gave me a holy kiss.

Pray for them!

Living in an affluent society - part 2

At Christmastime, it becomes really evident how affluent we are.

This year, I cannot bring myself to buy the generic gifts one gets for people when you don't know what they want. It's one thing to enjoy pleasing someone with the perfect gift. But it's another thing as soon as we start to say "I can't think of what to get". It just seems like such a waste. So I'm going on strike. I'm opting out of the obligatory gift game, and refusing to purchase this stuff. No more sentimental wall plaques. No more cute candles. No gizmos and gadgets. No holiday themed sweaters.

Some of my friends are getting a book that I really like, and I think they will really like it too. Some of my friends are getting homemade cookies.
Some of my friends are getting things I know they are interested in.

But for everyone else... I'm making targeted donations in their name to World Vision [click on ways to give/gift catalog].

I'm taking a huge delight in choosing things that I think are appropriate to the person I'm trying to honor. Are they interested in helping children? In the poor? In conservation? In making people self-sufficient? In sending Bibles to other countries? In growing food? In healthcare? In victims of war? There are so many choices. You can donate as little as $10 to send a hygene kit, or $16,500, to build a health clinic.

So many of my friends and relatives will be getting cards instead of gifts. And the cards will say:

You are a part of bringing hope to the world! A life-changing gift has
been given in your name to bring joy to a corner of our world that
deperately
needs to know others care. Thank you for being a part of the
miracle of helping
children and families in need!

Ten Ducks: Throughout the year, a hungry family will benefit
from more than a thousand large, protein-rich eggs from the 10 ducks given in
your name through World Visioin. The extra eggs and hatched ducklings can be
sold to buy medicine or help pay for children's school tuition.

Or

Wonder Trees: An eco-friendly "wonder tree," given in your name through World Vision, will soon be enriching the soil of a struggling farmer in Zimbabwe or another African country -- potentially increasing his crop yield by more than 500 percent! That means abundant crops and more food for hungry people for years to come.

Or

Drip irrigation kit:In drought-prone regions of Africa, it's essential that each drop of precious water is put to good use. That's exactly what the smart drip irrigat6ion system does. Given in your name through World Vision, this gift maximizes the use of available water, resulting in higher-yielding crops and healthy livestock.

Or

Care for girl survivors of war: Thousands of girls in countries like Uganda are abducted by militants who abuse them or force them to serve as soldiers. Those who escape face a difficult road to recovery. Thanks to this gift given in your name through World Vision, one girl survivor will be empowered to make a fresh start! She'll receive assistance like food, medical care, trauma counseling and vocational training.

Or my favorite! A splurge, but I've really been wanting to order this anyway:

A camel: The gift of a hardworking camel, given in your name through World vision, will dramatically improve life for a poor desert-dwelling family. Able to carry up to 1,000 pounds, travel five days without food or water, and supply nutritious milk, a camel is like a refrigerator and an SUV with a 40-year life span.

Try it! Instead of buying those fuzzy slippers with a santa face on them, or a singing stuffed reindeer, consider a charitable donation. What's the worst that can happen? If the recipient really is offended at not getting a gift, you won't exchange gifts at all next year, and your gift list will gradually get shorter.

Living in an affluent society -- part 1

We don't realize how blessed we are with material things.

Having visited a country recently that has a much lower standard of living, I'm more aware of how much we waste. OK, this isn't really another blog about Turkey, but it does make a good contrast. If you've ever visited a European country, you will recognize at least some of these issues:

• Electricity: they just don't leave lights on the way we do. I know that people reading this (all 4 of you!) are probably saying to yourself: "I always turn out the lights when I leave the room", but this is a different dimension. The main hallway and stairs in a hotel are usually dark until a motion detector notices your presence. The hotel room itself sometimes requires that your key be placed in a little slot in order to turn any lights on (thus ensuring that when you leave your room, all the lights are off). Even public galleries and museums sometimes have the lights dark until you trigger them. Ice is never served without a special request. Air conditioning is available only in the better hotels in the hotter regions. And even air-conditioned restaurants or other public buildings don't have the temperature as low as we are used to. Electricity is considered valuable.
• Automobiles: I drive a Honda Civic, which is considerably bigger than the average car there. The average car is way smaller than we are used to, and that's not even discussing our current fascination with SUVs. Many families can't afford a car, and make do with a motorbike or a motorcycle. It's even better than watching clowns come out of a Volkswagon to see a family of 5 astride one motorcycle. Grandma (with her long skirt and head scarf) gets to ride in the side-car. And people walk for long distances. However, one mistaken gesture towards conservation is that some Turkish drivers apparently think that it wastes gas to turn their headlights on -- even at night. Gas is considered valuable.
• Paper goods: I have to admit that after I returned home, I visited the supermarket, and I actually stood in the paper goods aisle, and sincerely gave thanks to God for the abundance of toilet paper. Some things you really don't appreciate until they are missing! And it is very unusual to have paper towels in a bathroom. Trees are considered too valuable to make disposable items.
• Water: water pressure is often lower than we are used to. Water is considered valuable.

So I'm wondering whether we are being good stewards of God's good gifts. I've determined to at least be more thankful, and try to be more thoughtful about whether I am wasting resources.

Yikes - he thinks I know these things

Today 'P' came to me and asked if I had time to discuss a question that did not pertain to work. I said yes, and he said:
I am coming to you because you know about these things. How do you deal with anxiety?
[little did he know how true that is -- I'm anxious about everything! but I tried to answer] I have two things that I do. First, if I am very anxious, I take a deep breath.
Yes, that is why I have come right now. [He stopped and breathed]
And secondly I pray to God, and tell myself that I am in the hand of God, and nothing can happen that can take me away from the hand of God.
[He listened carefully, trying to understand.] Oh, that is because God is the strongest person, right?
Yes. There is no one stronger than God.
That is what my parents tell me -- I should have faith, and trust in God.
[Meanwhile, I'm wondering which God he is talking about, since he is Hindu, I believe. So I add something a bit provocative:] Have you ever thought about the fact that there is a difference between knowing about God, and knowing God?
[Suddenly he needed to leave.] All right, goodbye.
* * *
Pray for 'P'. Pray that he will start wondering what it means to know God.

cross cultural thanksgiving

Another cross cultural thanksgiving.

I went to work the day after thanksgiving, and found myself to be the token American on the floor. Luckily the work day was relatively slow, because I spent the day answering questions about the Holiday. But I kept getting stumped by trying to communicate across the cultural divide.

How did this holiday begin?
It began in the beginning of our country, when the pilgrims gave thanks for having lived through the year with the help of the native Americans, and having enough food to make it through the next winter.

What is a pilgrim?
Yikes. There I was, proud of myself for remembering to say 'Native American' instead of 'Indian', and yet I used 'pilgrim' which was a totally foreign word to them.

Why do you eat turkey?
We traditionally eat the foods that were in season and locally available, that the early settlers would have eaten. Wild Turkey was a type of a large bird.

What does turkey taste like?
Oh boy, did I blow this answer. I walked right into the classic trap, and said it tasted like chicken. But as soon as I said it, I realized that that is not a good answer for a life-long vegetarian Hindu!

Is turkey very delicious?
I told him that since we associate Turkey with a feast that we share with family and friends, it has such good memories that we all think it is delicious. 'P' was very taken with this answer, and eagerly agreed that his mother always noted that he ate more when company came.

Is this a religious holiday?
People of any religion can celebrate Thanksgiving.

So it is not about God at all?
Well, it is not officially a religious holiday, but I have one question to ask you.

What is that, Ann?
When you give thanks, who are you thanking?

Oh, I never thought of that!

Anyway, I decided to start a new Thanksgiving tradition to include my Indian co-workers. I baked a cake and brought it in for them on Friday. They questioned me about this:

What is the significance of this cake?
I thought that anyone who comes in to work today deserves a piece of cake. How do you like that idea?

I like this idea very much. It is a good tradition!