Have you ever noticed that the ads on top of the page actually pertain to the subject matter of the blogs?
This works well as long as I keep all the topics explicitly spiritual -- if anyone is reading this, they might actually like to order a Christian book by Francis Frangipane, for example, or buy a Bible.
It doesn't work as well when I talk about outreaches. Actually, it was fine as long as I talked about Christian outreaches in general. However, my blog of Nov 17 got more specific (I'm afraid to mention the topic again, for fear that I will perpetuate the problem), and now I'm seeing ads for particular cleaning supplies. I've been having a lot of fun checking out Steve's blog in this respect. He alternates between carefully crafted Christian essays, and brilliant comical satire. The poor ads just can't figure out what to do. This morning, I saw that he has a blog about life's most embarrassing moments, and the ad tried to come up with a blend of Christianity and humor, and is now promoting 'Christmas songs that tickle your funny bone'. That was a better fit than the day that the page kept showing the Armani ads. I mean, I'm sure Steve would look good in Armani, but I'm reasonably confident that his reading audience is not about to run out and buy Armani. Oh no, I just realized that in my attempt to quickly write another blog in order to turn off the 'T' outreach ads, I'm now going to get the fashion ads instead.
Actually, it's amazing how good computers are getting about figuring out what we're interested in. Having bought over 100 books from Amazon, their recommendations for me are really good. But I was quite disconcerted the day that they showed me another reader's list of books required for VLI. I figured it must be another acronym, such as Vermont Lumber Institute, but I clicked on the link and sure enough, they had figured out that I was interested in the Vineyard Leadership Institute. I was suddenly seeing Ladd's Theology of the New Testament, as well as Drane's Introducing the New Testament. (Notice how I cleverly inserted some Christian terms, in order to sway the ads that show up next? However, my attempt has not yet worked -- I think it pays more attention to the titles. )
Saturday, November 29, 2003
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Do you know what MRED means?
We just finished a class on Missions, and a mentoring unit on Evangelism. Sometimes I feel like such a foreigner in my own culture, that the idea of trying to reach beyond that is really stressful. The very idea of cross-cultural ministry exhausts me. I'm still trying to find a place where I feel at home myself. I think everyone has a right to be eccentric if they want to be, but I hate being eccentric by mistake!
Some of this is attributable to growing up without watching TV. I know all the arguments pro and con, but in my experience, it left me without the set of common experiences that all Americans assume that everyone else knows.
I remember one time when I riding the train doing the crossword puzzle. I had filled in all the 'across' answers for one corner, but I still didn't understand the 'down' clue. So I mentioned to my friend Pat (a foreign-born co-worker), "I don't know what 'MRED' is. " I pronounced it: EM-Red. She glanced over at the paper and patiently explained to me that "TV's talking horse" was 'Mr Ed' ". Oh.
Sometimes I pick things up second hand. I can hum that little theme from the 'Twilight zone', even though I have no idea what the show was about, and have never actually heard the real theme, only other people humming it. I've learned that you hum this when you think something odd is happening. And then there is also that ominous theme that means something bad is going to happen: dum da-dum dum DUM. I have no idea what that is actually from, but I know how to use it. I can understand references to 'Leave it to Beaver' and 'Father knows best'. I've mainly learned these from context, usually in sermons, describing how society has changed in the past few decades.
I'm probably the only person in New York who wasn't a Seinfeld fan. So when I innocently started relating a true lunchtime story about this place in New York where the guy abuses you when you stand in line waiting to buy his soup, it must have been inevitable that the person I was talking to thought I was poorly relating the episode of the Soup Nazi, and tried to correct me, by adding details that hadn't actually happened that day. Eventually we straightened it out. And by the way, the guy really does scream at you to "step to the left", and people stand on line in the rain and take his abuse.
And I've never understood why people do that thing with their fingers behind someone's head when you snap a picture. What does it mean? Why does everyone think it's funny? Why am I the only 45 year old in America who is not in on the joke? Last week I noticed that when people gesture as if they are holding a telephone, they stick out their pinky and thumb, to represent the phone itself. How does everyone except me know that this is the 'right' way to symbolize a telephone? I hold my hand curved together as if I'm holding a phone. Where did that thumb and pinky thing start? Where do I buy the secret manual that explains all of this?
And lets not even get into how old I was when I found out that when people mention Spock, they don't mean the pediatrician.
One friend of mine actually suggested that I needed a course of remedial TV watching. However, I have to confess that I'm just not quite interested enough. It's sort of like cleaning my apartment. I like the idea of it being clean, but not quite enough to prioritize my time to work on it. I mean, can you imagine me telling my boss that instead of staying for the whole meeting I have to go home because it's an emergency and I have to watch Nickelodeon?
I've come up with a good technique for learning about some the big shows now. I watch one episode. Frankly, that's all Survivor was worth. But I saw the immunity challenge, and the tribal council, and will now understand the reference if someone says "the Tribe has spoken". And I watched a few episodes of Fear Factor. It was sort of addicting, but finally I had to ask myself what in the world I was watching for, and I had no answer, so I stopped. But at least I will now recognize "Fear is not a factor for you". And I attended a kinship party where we watched the final episode of Seinfeld. I couldn't quite understand what it had to do with kinship, but it was a highly efficient way of catching up, because it had flashbacks to many prior shows.
But all in all, I can't believe how much of a foreigner I feel in my own country. It reminds me of an old science fiction story, in which there was an alien who was trying to pass as a human being. He had studied human behavior, so he could try to fake it. And he was finally caught out because he failed to do something that was instinctive for gentlemen wearing suits -- he didn't have that little knack of hitching up the knees just as he sat down, to avoid stretching out the crease. I feel like the alien who watches to try to copy 'normal' behavior, but who will eventually get caught.
Keep watching my blog for entries about being a foreigner in my own country. Food and movies and music and religion and weddings will make great categories.
P.S. I do actually watch some TV now, if I happen to be home: 60 minutes; ER; 20/20; Everybody loves Raymond; Judging Amy.
Some of this is attributable to growing up without watching TV. I know all the arguments pro and con, but in my experience, it left me without the set of common experiences that all Americans assume that everyone else knows.
I remember one time when I riding the train doing the crossword puzzle. I had filled in all the 'across' answers for one corner, but I still didn't understand the 'down' clue. So I mentioned to my friend Pat (a foreign-born co-worker), "I don't know what 'MRED' is. " I pronounced it: EM-Red. She glanced over at the paper and patiently explained to me that "TV's talking horse" was 'Mr Ed' ". Oh.
Sometimes I pick things up second hand. I can hum that little theme from the 'Twilight zone', even though I have no idea what the show was about, and have never actually heard the real theme, only other people humming it. I've learned that you hum this when you think something odd is happening. And then there is also that ominous theme that means something bad is going to happen: dum da-dum dum DUM. I have no idea what that is actually from, but I know how to use it. I can understand references to 'Leave it to Beaver' and 'Father knows best'. I've mainly learned these from context, usually in sermons, describing how society has changed in the past few decades.
I'm probably the only person in New York who wasn't a Seinfeld fan. So when I innocently started relating a true lunchtime story about this place in New York where the guy abuses you when you stand in line waiting to buy his soup, it must have been inevitable that the person I was talking to thought I was poorly relating the episode of the Soup Nazi, and tried to correct me, by adding details that hadn't actually happened that day. Eventually we straightened it out. And by the way, the guy really does scream at you to "step to the left", and people stand on line in the rain and take his abuse.
And I've never understood why people do that thing with their fingers behind someone's head when you snap a picture. What does it mean? Why does everyone think it's funny? Why am I the only 45 year old in America who is not in on the joke? Last week I noticed that when people gesture as if they are holding a telephone, they stick out their pinky and thumb, to represent the phone itself. How does everyone except me know that this is the 'right' way to symbolize a telephone? I hold my hand curved together as if I'm holding a phone. Where did that thumb and pinky thing start? Where do I buy the secret manual that explains all of this?
And lets not even get into how old I was when I found out that when people mention Spock, they don't mean the pediatrician.
One friend of mine actually suggested that I needed a course of remedial TV watching. However, I have to confess that I'm just not quite interested enough. It's sort of like cleaning my apartment. I like the idea of it being clean, but not quite enough to prioritize my time to work on it. I mean, can you imagine me telling my boss that instead of staying for the whole meeting I have to go home because it's an emergency and I have to watch Nickelodeon?
I've come up with a good technique for learning about some the big shows now. I watch one episode. Frankly, that's all Survivor was worth. But I saw the immunity challenge, and the tribal council, and will now understand the reference if someone says "the Tribe has spoken". And I watched a few episodes of Fear Factor. It was sort of addicting, but finally I had to ask myself what in the world I was watching for, and I had no answer, so I stopped. But at least I will now recognize "Fear is not a factor for you". And I attended a kinship party where we watched the final episode of Seinfeld. I couldn't quite understand what it had to do with kinship, but it was a highly efficient way of catching up, because it had flashbacks to many prior shows.
But all in all, I can't believe how much of a foreigner I feel in my own country. It reminds me of an old science fiction story, in which there was an alien who was trying to pass as a human being. He had studied human behavior, so he could try to fake it. And he was finally caught out because he failed to do something that was instinctive for gentlemen wearing suits -- he didn't have that little knack of hitching up the knees just as he sat down, to avoid stretching out the crease. I feel like the alien who watches to try to copy 'normal' behavior, but who will eventually get caught.
Keep watching my blog for entries about being a foreigner in my own country. Food and movies and music and religion and weddings will make great categories.
P.S. I do actually watch some TV now, if I happen to be home: 60 minutes; ER; 20/20; Everybody loves Raymond; Judging Amy.
Sunday, November 23, 2003
Is it possible to be too high a 'C'?
Well, that's a trick question.
Since I'm a 'C', I value the attributes that 'C's have, and I think they are important characteristics. I even think the world would be better off if everybody acted more 'C'. Careful, cautious, accurate -- what's not to like?
But even I can recognize that I pretty much break the scale. How did this revelation come to me? I think it was when I emailed VLI to tell them to correct...a footnote in the syllabus. It did occur to me that most people probably don't read the footnotes (if they even read the syllabus!). Or if they read it they wouldn't notice the error. Or if they notice the error they wouldn't feel compelled to correct it. But I kept thinking of poor Christina Rossetti who was not getting proper credit for her poem (not to mention the fact that the poem itself had two extra words stuck in, which break the meter).
At least this was more satisfying than the time I caught an error on Jeopardy. The question (or answer, in Jeopardy terminology) had to do with an Agatha Christie title. The book was published with different titles in the US and in England. One of the contestants responded with the British title of the relevant work, and was told he was wrong, and I ran over to the bookcase and checked, and confirmed that he was actually correct. However, I could not figure out whom to contact. So it still bugs me that he was not given credit for his answer.
Actually, this whole personality thing kind of bugs me. I think it would be a lot more fun to run around being the idea person, and starting things, and having other people do the work, and I get tired of being the responsible one who plods along. But where are the high 'S's and high 'C's that would be needed to pick up the pieces? I think of the Christian coffeehouse that we had at our church. My friend D. sailed in and said "Let's do this" but fizzled out pretty quickly. And K and I buckled down and made it work. But I kind of resent the personality that doesn't worry about following through or doing the work. I end up feeling inhibited in terms of even having ideas, because the work that would be neccessary to accomplish them overwhelms me. I wonder how many visionary ideas I might have if I didn't censor them up front, out of fear that I'd have to do all the work?
Since I'm a 'C', I value the attributes that 'C's have, and I think they are important characteristics. I even think the world would be better off if everybody acted more 'C'. Careful, cautious, accurate -- what's not to like?
But even I can recognize that I pretty much break the scale. How did this revelation come to me? I think it was when I emailed VLI to tell them to correct...a footnote in the syllabus. It did occur to me that most people probably don't read the footnotes (if they even read the syllabus!). Or if they read it they wouldn't notice the error. Or if they notice the error they wouldn't feel compelled to correct it. But I kept thinking of poor Christina Rossetti who was not getting proper credit for her poem (not to mention the fact that the poem itself had two extra words stuck in, which break the meter).
At least this was more satisfying than the time I caught an error on Jeopardy. The question (or answer, in Jeopardy terminology) had to do with an Agatha Christie title. The book was published with different titles in the US and in England. One of the contestants responded with the British title of the relevant work, and was told he was wrong, and I ran over to the bookcase and checked, and confirmed that he was actually correct. However, I could not figure out whom to contact. So it still bugs me that he was not given credit for his answer.
Actually, this whole personality thing kind of bugs me. I think it would be a lot more fun to run around being the idea person, and starting things, and having other people do the work, and I get tired of being the responsible one who plods along. But where are the high 'S's and high 'C's that would be needed to pick up the pieces? I think of the Christian coffeehouse that we had at our church. My friend D. sailed in and said "Let's do this" but fizzled out pretty quickly. And K and I buckled down and made it work. But I kind of resent the personality that doesn't worry about following through or doing the work. I end up feeling inhibited in terms of even having ideas, because the work that would be neccessary to accomplish them overwhelms me. I wonder how many visionary ideas I might have if I didn't censor them up front, out of fear that I'd have to do all the work?
Monday, November 17, 2003
Yesterday was World Toilet Day
I'm not making this up.
The holiday started in Singapore, and they encourage everyone to prepare by cleaning their toilets, and then running around judging and giving feedbat on everyone else's toilet, and teaching toilet etiquette.
So it was pretty comical that our toilet cleaning outreach happened to coincide with preparation for world toilet day.
Global holidays aside, this was actually our most satisfying outreach, believe it or not. It definitely caught people's attention. They totally couldn't figure us out. Mike had the great idea to go first to the merchants who had donated products for the Teen event the night before. So we walked in, and Mike said "thank you for helping us with our event last night. And now we would like to bless you...by cleaning your restroom". Too bad we didn't have a camera to capture people's responses. Some of the expressions were priceless.
After we went to the merchants that the church already had a relationship with, we went to the New Age shop. The women running the store were very pleasant, but understandably confused as to why we were marching in with toilet brush in hand. And it puzzled them even more when we refused to accept a donation after we finished cleaning. But I felt that we made a connection with them.
Then we went to the Christian Science reading room. The woman on duty didn't feel she could let us in the back to clean, however she was actually the one person we encountered all morning who instantly grasped the concept of what we were doing. She said with amazement "oh, that's real humility. It's like Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. But people don't really need their feet washed anymore so you do this instead". And since we weren't able to clean her bathroom, we offered to pray for her instead. And there too, I felt we made a real connection.
In case anyone else is inspired by this and wants to try a restroom outreach, here are some equipment suggestions: Rubber gloves, one scrub brush, a toilet brush, a sponge, all purpose disinfectant cleaner, toilet cleaner, mirror cleaner. You need much more paper towels than you think (because a lot of the surfaces are too dirty to even want to use a sponge), and lots of the disinfectant.
The holiday started in Singapore, and they encourage everyone to prepare by cleaning their toilets, and then running around judging and giving feedbat on everyone else's toilet, and teaching toilet etiquette.
So it was pretty comical that our toilet cleaning outreach happened to coincide with preparation for world toilet day.
Global holidays aside, this was actually our most satisfying outreach, believe it or not. It definitely caught people's attention. They totally couldn't figure us out. Mike had the great idea to go first to the merchants who had donated products for the Teen event the night before. So we walked in, and Mike said "thank you for helping us with our event last night. And now we would like to bless you...by cleaning your restroom". Too bad we didn't have a camera to capture people's responses. Some of the expressions were priceless.
After we went to the merchants that the church already had a relationship with, we went to the New Age shop. The women running the store were very pleasant, but understandably confused as to why we were marching in with toilet brush in hand. And it puzzled them even more when we refused to accept a donation after we finished cleaning. But I felt that we made a connection with them.
Then we went to the Christian Science reading room. The woman on duty didn't feel she could let us in the back to clean, however she was actually the one person we encountered all morning who instantly grasped the concept of what we were doing. She said with amazement "oh, that's real humility. It's like Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. But people don't really need their feet washed anymore so you do this instead". And since we weren't able to clean her bathroom, we offered to pray for her instead. And there too, I felt we made a real connection.
In case anyone else is inspired by this and wants to try a restroom outreach, here are some equipment suggestions: Rubber gloves, one scrub brush, a toilet brush, a sponge, all purpose disinfectant cleaner, toilet cleaner, mirror cleaner. You need much more paper towels than you think (because a lot of the surfaces are too dirty to even want to use a sponge), and lots of the disinfectant.
Friday, November 14, 2003
More about Personality
I'm still laughing about my profile characteristics. I confess, I like agendas. They help get the task accomplished. In fact, I even made an agenda for our toilet cleaning outreach tomorrow. OK, I realize that's a little excessive. But it satisfies me to know that we have a plan, and a schedule, and that we'll get our supplies, and by lunchtime we'll be DONE.
I'm the kind of person who will actually add tasks I've already completed to a list, just so I have the satisfaction of checking them off. I guess that's not too unusual (for people who even make lists, that is). But I also do a variation of that. Since my lists are always too long, and I never finish everything on this list, it is always a source of stress for me. So I compensate by adding even more items to the list, but things I know that I will complete, so that it improves my completion percentage. Sigh. Somehow, that didn't feel as obsessive before I put it into words.
What I really want to know is how to turn into the kind of person who still makes lists, but whose lists are human sized, so they actually get finished. That would be perfect.
Even though I'm an 'Inspector' according to Myers Briggs, in some ways (or on some topics) the description I resonate to even more is 'Mastermind', but the name is impossible. Can you imagine me walking around whining that I'm really a mastermind, but the test came out wrong? That sounds like a sociopath in a bad movie. The part about alternate plans is totally me. After all, how many people even know about (much less care about) the difference between risk mitigation and contingency planning? And I'm definitely a 'system builder', and 'perfectionist', with lack of understanding of social rituals, and a need for privacy. On the 'Inspector' side, I can see myself in 'dependable', 'responsible', and 'trustworthy'.
I'm the kind of person who will actually add tasks I've already completed to a list, just so I have the satisfaction of checking them off. I guess that's not too unusual (for people who even make lists, that is). But I also do a variation of that. Since my lists are always too long, and I never finish everything on this list, it is always a source of stress for me. So I compensate by adding even more items to the list, but things I know that I will complete, so that it improves my completion percentage. Sigh. Somehow, that didn't feel as obsessive before I put it into words.
What I really want to know is how to turn into the kind of person who still makes lists, but whose lists are human sized, so they actually get finished. That would be perfect.
Even though I'm an 'Inspector' according to Myers Briggs, in some ways (or on some topics) the description I resonate to even more is 'Mastermind', but the name is impossible. Can you imagine me walking around whining that I'm really a mastermind, but the test came out wrong? That sounds like a sociopath in a bad movie. The part about alternate plans is totally me. After all, how many people even know about (much less care about) the difference between risk mitigation and contingency planning? And I'm definitely a 'system builder', and 'perfectionist', with lack of understanding of social rituals, and a need for privacy. On the 'Inspector' side, I can see myself in 'dependable', 'responsible', and 'trustworthy'.
Everyone think's he's a character...and now we can prove it.
It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me, that according to DISC I'm a High 'C/S', and according to Myers Briggs I'm an ISTJ.
However, I find that when I take these tests on various occasions the highs and lows are always consistent, but the weaker characteristics occasionally vary.
So in DISC, I am always High C, and Low I, but the relative intensity of D and S fluctuates a little.
In Myers Briggs, I am always I, ? ,T, J, but while I'm usually 'S', sometimes I tie with 'N'.
Of course, I was too eager to wait for the class materials, so I tried the online versions first, and found that they work pretty well to at least correlate your general pattern. Here is a link to a DISC test: DISC The results will map to your high and low points, however the interpretation page is a little odd, because of the way they map the scores to percentages -- this seems off to me, since I bet hardly anyone would show up as 'high' in this methodology.
For the Myers Briggs, try
Myers Briggs
But if you don't have the patience to take either of those test, here is a test with only 4 questions, that is pretty accurate! Try the quick, Bloginality test. It's sort of a compressed Myers Briggs.
However, I find that when I take these tests on various occasions the highs and lows are always consistent, but the weaker characteristics occasionally vary.
So in DISC, I am always High C, and Low I, but the relative intensity of D and S fluctuates a little.
In Myers Briggs, I am always I, ? ,T, J, but while I'm usually 'S', sometimes I tie with 'N'.
Of course, I was too eager to wait for the class materials, so I tried the online versions first, and found that they work pretty well to at least correlate your general pattern. Here is a link to a DISC test: DISC The results will map to your high and low points, however the interpretation page is a little odd, because of the way they map the scores to percentages -- this seems off to me, since I bet hardly anyone would show up as 'high' in this methodology.
For the Myers Briggs, try
Myers Briggs
But if you don't have the patience to take either of those test, here is a test with only 4 questions, that is pretty accurate! Try the quick, Bloginality test. It's sort of a compressed Myers Briggs.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
chomping at the bit
So now I'm chomping at the bit because we haven't received any materials yet for the next classes, and I want to start studying. After all, the next test is in less than a month, and my study habit is slow and steady, rather than learning a lot at the end. I actually went online and tried an online DISC. It shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who knows me that I'm a high C/S. No wonder I'm always trying to teach people, but don't always notice whether they are interested! No wonder I'm trying to research what the DISC is. No wonder I find it normal to study more than the other people in class. No wonder I'm cautious about starting things, because it can be overwhelming to have to do everything well, and to finish everything. No wonder I think I need a kinship apprentice who is an 'I'.
And as I listened to the first MP3, I started laughing when the teacher said that a high S/C will have an agenda for everything. As a C/S, that makes sense to me, too of course! why would anyone want it any other way? I did agendas for the coffeehouse meetings, for example. We methodically discussed decorations, refreshments, sound system, advertising, and bands. It's a little disconcerting to realize that even my strong points are not 'normal'.
And as I listened to the first MP3, I started laughing when the teacher said that a high S/C will have an agenda for everything. As a C/S, that makes sense to me, too of course! why would anyone want it any other way? I did agendas for the coffeehouse meetings, for example. We methodically discussed decorations, refreshments, sound system, advertising, and bands. It's a little disconcerting to realize that even my strong points are not 'normal'.
A sigh of relief.
The first test is over.
It was both easier and more frustrating than I expected. The test preview was tremendously helpful. It really is true that 95% of the test was on the preview. The frustrating part was that some of the questions were ambiguous. Several times, I felt that I really knew the answer, but wasn't sure what the test wanted. For example, if something was phrased a little differently on the test from how it was stated in class, is that the same, or is that different? There were times when I absolutely remembered what was taught, but I'm still not sure if I answered 'correctly'.
In all honesty, I really enjoyed studying for this. I keep having to catch myself, because I've been going around trying to share my newfound 'wisdom', and I'm not sure my co-workers are as interested as I am. That was putting it euphamistically. I'm actually sure they are not, although they have been surprisingly accepting so far! They would rather talk about whether the notional exchange for a cross currency swap has one settlement or two, and whether you need a spot or a forward so your currencies net out. And I used that example on purpose, because it is probably as thrilling and comprehensible to anyone reading this, as a discussion of the differences between the synoptic gospels is to my co-workers.
It was both easier and more frustrating than I expected. The test preview was tremendously helpful. It really is true that 95% of the test was on the preview. The frustrating part was that some of the questions were ambiguous. Several times, I felt that I really knew the answer, but wasn't sure what the test wanted. For example, if something was phrased a little differently on the test from how it was stated in class, is that the same, or is that different? There were times when I absolutely remembered what was taught, but I'm still not sure if I answered 'correctly'.
In all honesty, I really enjoyed studying for this. I keep having to catch myself, because I've been going around trying to share my newfound 'wisdom', and I'm not sure my co-workers are as interested as I am. That was putting it euphamistically. I'm actually sure they are not, although they have been surprisingly accepting so far! They would rather talk about whether the notional exchange for a cross currency swap has one settlement or two, and whether you need a spot or a forward so your currencies net out. And I used that example on purpose, because it is probably as thrilling and comprehensible to anyone reading this, as a discussion of the differences between the synoptic gospels is to my co-workers.
Sunday, November 02, 2003
What's my motivation?
No, it's not a line from an acting class, it's a reminder to myself that even as I study for the test, I need to be keeping my eye on the goal: becoming equipped for service, and maturing my character. I have to keep resisting the temptation to turn the test into the goal.
This seems to be the right time in my life for me to be studying the spiritual disciplines. In the past, I was too intimidated and defensive to even want to read about them, much less practice them. And now I find myself delighted when I see change in myself. For example, at the beginning of the quarter Steve challenged us to listen with an expectant heart to the proclaimed word, whether it was a sermon, a kinship teaching, or whatever. And in the most amazing 'coincidence', I find that everyone around me is suddenly preaching better!
I just came upon a great quote by Thomas Merton, excerpted from Thoughts in Solitude. He wrote: The fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
This seems to be the right time in my life for me to be studying the spiritual disciplines. In the past, I was too intimidated and defensive to even want to read about them, much less practice them. And now I find myself delighted when I see change in myself. For example, at the beginning of the quarter Steve challenged us to listen with an expectant heart to the proclaimed word, whether it was a sermon, a kinship teaching, or whatever. And in the most amazing 'coincidence', I find that everyone around me is suddenly preaching better!
I just came upon a great quote by Thomas Merton, excerpted from Thoughts in Solitude. He wrote: The fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.