An alternative to the holiday wars

I have this theory that if we could get rid of political correctness and replace it with some common courtesy, things would work out a lot better.

Last week I found it ironic that the only people from my workplace who dared say 'Merry Christmas' were those from Singapore or Zurich. New York is just way too politically correct. Everyone from NY sent generic 'happy holidays' messages. It's not that I'm offended exactly -- after all, most of them aren't believers in the first place, so there's no reason they should be celebrating Christmas. But the Christians (myself among them) generally don't send anything at all, so it doesn't have to turn into an issue. That's a sad state of affairs.

This week, the office is pretty empty, since most of the managers are out. That means that there are hardly any Americans around. Most of my co-workers are Indians, and most of those are Hindu (although a few are Muslim). They greeted me this morning, and pleasantly asked me if I had spent a Merry Christmas. They were quite interested to know how I celebrated, but seemed satisfied to hear that I spend Christmas day with family, and went to church on Christmas eve, and on Christmas morning. One was eager to tell me that he himself had gone to a Christmas party. His punchline deserved a drum-roll: "It was the birthday of the baby Jesus!" Then he looked at me to see if he had said the right thing or not, and I emphatically agreed. The other gentlemen standing around the coffee maker seemed pleased that they had figured out this foreign custom.

Then a Rumanian co-worker asked me what I did for Christmas, and again I said that I spent it with family and in church. I suddenly realized that instead of being politically correct I could simply ask which holiday he celebrated. He acknowledged that he celebrates Christmas, as he is Eastern Orthodox (although non-practicing). He said that when he was young Christmas was not so overdone. Of course, some of it has to do with the fact that it was communist rather than capitalist, but it was still interesting to hear the difference. He said that children received just a few small sweets or toys. In fact, they carefully polished their shoes, because the gifts appeared inside! So now that he lives in a 'free' country, he celebrates Christmas by going to the mall instead of to church.

Bye, Barney

Barney died last week, but I wanted to honor Florence, so Barney had to wait.
For those of you who don't remember (how could you forget!), Barney was the dog that we've been praying for. His family is still hesitant to ask for prayers for themselves, but they were eager to get any help they could for their faithful friend.

I remember the first time I set eyes on him. I had already heard so much about him at work, that I finally insisted on meeting him, so a dinner was arranged, just as an excuse for me to get to know the dog. After we finished eating (spanikopita, saganaki, tatziki, scordalia, grilled octopus, pita, sangria), 'S's girlfriend went across the street to fetch Barney from the apartment. When dog noticed 'S' waiting on the sidewalk, he greeted him happily.

The picture above isn't really him - he was actually a combination beagle and basset hound, and I had never hear that kind of happy howl before. It wasn't the traditional baying at the moon crooning. It wasn't the sound of a wolf wannabe. Rather it was more like a song of great joy -- a loud song of great joy. A song that resonated up and down Broadway, and across 76th street. Pavarotti would have wept in envy to hear the resonance, sounding effortlessly above the noise of the traffic, and the taxi-cabs, and the people.
Awoooooo, Awoooooooo, Awooooo-wooooo-wooooo-woooo.
I laughed so hard I ended up sitting on the sidewalk of Manhattan, with the dog in my lap. It was one of those unforgettable moments.

But over the past few years, Barney has been accumulating illnesses. Each medication had side-effects that caused other problems. And every time he was taken to the hospital, we prayed. (You guys were praying, weren't you?). His family is still not quite comfortable with this prayer thing, and certainly weren't interested in going to church with me, but they would reach out to try anything for Barney.

They are a wonderful, thoughtful, intelligent, friendly, humorous couple from a Jewish tradition, who are respectful and patient with my beliefs. When we get together they ask me how church is, because they are good conversationalists, sort of like asking someone how their hobby is going -- it's an example of good manners and friendly courtesy rather than true interest. But Barney was the one touchpoint where they were intensely interested. When he was sick with pneumonia, I got daily hospital bulletins from them. They clearly figured that it couldn't hurt, and just maybe it might help.

As he aged, and the frequency of his illnesses accelerated, I realized that unless he was going to be some kind of miraculous Elijah-dog, he was going to die. Frankly, I worried that there would be a backlash. (To be honest, I worry about that when I pray for people too -- if the prayer doesn't 'work', will they be resentful and mad?).

But 'S' was unfailingly gracious. He called to tell me that Barney was dead, and then said that they figured that the prayers had pulled him through several times, and brought him an extra year of life.

So we won't be praying for Barney any more, but please pray that 'S' and his wife 'S' will keep reaching out for prayer for other topics.

Farewell, Florence

She had been failing for the past year, and sometimes asked to leave church early , so when I didn’t see her in the nursing home for a few weeks, I just assumed she was tired – I didn’t realize she had died. I know we’re not supposed to have favorites, but I do anyway, and I’ll really miss her.

She really epitomized my theory that as we age we simply become a more concentrated version of our own personality. She was a sweetheart. Even when she didn’t remember who someone was, she was friendly and appreciative.

I remember one morning when her niece came to see her. Florence was not having a good memory day, but her personality was intact. She smiled sweetly at her niece and confided: “I don’t remember who you are, but you are so nice to come and see me!”She loved proclaiming her age. It varied every week. Sometimes she was 84 and sometimes she was 94. Once in a while she was 96. She loved asking us to guess her age, and of course it was a surprise every time. Regardless of the number she chose, she would cock her head coyly to the side and gleefully proclaim: “Not bad for a little old lady!” I always delighted her by responding: “You’re not just any little old lady, you are a TERRIFIC little old lady! “ And each time she was thrilled, and eagerly asked: “Really? You think I’m terrific?” She beamed with a wide smile that cheerfully showed off her two remaining teeth.

Well the joke was on me. I would sometimes try to correct her and remind her that she was 94, but it turns out she was actually 100! Her goal was to be nice to everybody, and I can honestly say she was a great example. Goodbye Florence.

3 ideas for simplifying Christmas Shopping

I'm probably not unusual in getting stressed out around Christmas. It's partly a question of expectations, both on my part and from other people. And of course the issue of gifts gets increasingly complex.

So I've started a personal simplification campaign. Most of my friends are getting a copy of one of my favorite Christian books. People for whom that is not appropriate (either they are not readers, or don't have time to read, or aren't believers) get a gift basket that I make up for them with treats from Trader Joe, tailored to their personal tastes. And people for whom that won't work get the simple honor of donations made in their name to World Vision.

I know I've blogged about that before, but it's really fun. The way I look at it is that if I really can't figure out anything that the person wants, it is better to donate to a poor family who will really appreciate it, than wander the malls aimlessly, and then pay too much for a piece of overpriced junk that will simply take up space.

You may recall that last year I honored my friend 'H' with a camel donated in his name. It was the most expensive gift I gave, but I knew that the ultimate recipient would appreciate it, even if it wasn't exactly what 'H' was expecting. Luckily, he got the point, and was pleased. He did ask my why I didn't give a pig, since they are so useful, and I explained that I wasn't sure that a pig would sound like such an honor (especially since he is Jewish). But he assured me that a pig would be fine, so guess what I got him this year?

Looking back on it, I find that the camel was my very best investment last year. Did you know that the price of camels went up 30% this year? Thank goodness I purchased one when they were cheap! Some day I'll splurge on an All-Inclusive Mongolian Ger.

There are gifts for every budget, starting under $20, and ranging to the tens of thousands. Choose a category that will be meaningful to the recipient. Food, shelter, education, etc. The easiest way to 'shop' is to go to the world vision website, click on the 'ways to give' tab, and choose 'gift catalog'. You will see some of their most popular items, but you can also browse through a particular category by choosing a topic on the left. Feed a village. Prevent Malaria. Educate a child. Give a wheelchair. Donate a Llama. Drill a well. Care for a girl survivor of war. Rescue a girl from the sex trade. Plant an orchard. Raise a chicken. Separate the sheep from the goats...

Isn't that more fun than the mall?

Do you have any Mondegreens?

We are approaching Mondegreen season. Do you have a mondegreen?

The best thing about mondegreens is that we generally cannot tell if we ourselves are afflicted -- that's the fun of it.

A mondegreen occurs when we hear a poem or a song, and misunderstand the lyrics. We can go for years happily singing our own words, never realizing that they are not 'correct'. The word 'mondegreen' itself was coined by a woman who suddenly realized that she had been singing a song incorrectly since she was a child. Her version sounds plausible:
Ye Highlands and Ye Lowlands
Oh where hae you been?
They hae slay the Earl of Murray,
And Lady Mondegreen.
But actually the last line was supposed to be:
And laid him on the green.

In church circles, one of the most famous mondegreens came from the child whose favorite hymn was: "Gladly the cross-eyed bear". The rest of us know this better as: "Gladly, the Cross I'd bear".
Other favorites are heard in the Lord's Prayer, which occasionally pleads "lead us not into Penn Station"
Christmas Carols always have great mondegreen possibilities. After all, we usually sing them first as a child, we are more likely to hear then first rather than reading the words, and they are only performed seasonally.
This may actually explain why Good King Wenceslas is so unpopular. I wouldn't like him either if I thought that
"Good King Wences' car backed out
On the feet of heathens"

I mentioned mondegreens to my boss, and he immediately contributed one from his wife. They attend a seasonal event where the Morris dancers sing 'Lord of the Dance'. She was looking forward to it, and mentioned that she really liked the dancing tree song. Apparently it took them a while to figure out that they were singing:
"I am the Lord of the Dance, said He"
but she was hearing:
"I am the Lord of the dancing tree".

There is a wonderful collection of Christmas mondegreens you can look up, if you are interested.

But the most fun will be if you submit comments with your own mondegreens.

Traditions

I've been thinking about traditions lately. I guess we all have our own connotations of tradition. Some people assume the word is talking about something good -- they envision a warm family scene perhaps. Others assume the word is bad, referring to attitudes and actions that are boring at best, and archaic or harmful at worst.

I went to a college that enjoyed its traditions. I was a bellringer, and we rang the bells every evening before dinner, as well as for special events (such as the first snowfall of the year). We loved sharing the traditions that had been handed down, such as afternoon tea with the professors, and the annual basketball game between the freshmen and the sophomores. Some of those traditions will probably change in the next year or two, since the college has just started admitting men, who may start their own traditions, or modify some of the existing ones. I can't really see them dancing around the sycamore tree, or kissing Minerva's toe (don't ask).

But somehow it seems that it takes a shorter period of time nowadays to create a tradition. In fact, it apparently only takes once! For example, a friend of mine noted that her husband was taken aback to find that their vacation flight was not booked on JetBlue. "We always fly JetBlue." May I note that he had only flown JetBlue once in his life.

Another incidence of an instant tradition arose at work. Last year I baked a cake, and brought it in to share with anyone who came in to work on the Friday after Thanksgiving. This year, one of my Indian co-workers felt on solid ground in her understanding of what happens on the American holiday of Thanksgiving -- Ann bakes a cake. When she reminded me of this, I felt that I really should do so again. And I inadvertently repeated a sub-tradition, when I left out one of the ingredients. Last year I left out the oil. This year I left out the lemon rind. Ironically, both times it turned out fine!

Bunnies, bugs, birds and bobcats

I am currrently visiting my parents in Arizona, and enjoying the beautiful natural scenery. A surprising variety of wildlife can be seen right from the kitchen window.

This morning, while eating breakfast, we wondered where the quail were -- usually there are up to a couple of dozen, with their little topnots bobbing as they peck at the birdseed on the patio. A few minute later the avoidance was explained when we saw a bobcat casually walk by. Actually, there were two, but I only saw the baby, barely bigger than a large housecat, but with a short tail, and an unusual patterned gray coat. After that we noticed a naive little bunny, hopping carelessly across the very path that the bobcat had crossed. Luckily nothing dire happened (at least not while we were watching). All in all, it was a most exciting breakfast. I wonder who will show up tomorrow!

And of course, there are the bugs. Fascinating, if you are into those things. Some of them are big enough that they look like characters in a scary movie. I prefer the ones that are not too sociable, and that scurry away.

The scenery is beautiful. When I get home I post a photo of the beautiful Sedona rocks.

p.s. I changed my mind. In keeping with the wildlife theme, I've attached a shot of the scorpion in the bathtub. Sorry it's so blurry -- I didn't want to get too close!

10 minutes a week

Can you guess what this is referring to?
Let's see...

• 10 minutes a week is less time than I spend brushing my teeth. Maybe it's about how long I floss.
  
• 10 minutes a week is less time than I spend paying bills.
  
• 10 minutes a week is considerably less than I spend doing laundry.
  
• Of course, it's more time than I spend putting on makeup.
  
• It's way less time than I spend reading email. It's even a little less time than I spend dealing with spam.
  
• It's more time than I spend vacuuming. (oops, the secret is out!)
  
• It's less than the amount of time I spend waiting for the elevator at work.
  
• It's way less time than I spend worrying about things I can't control
  
• It's less than the time I spend drying my hair.
  
• It's less than the time I spend eating ice cream.
  

Did you try to guess?
Open Doorsis trying to recruit 1008 people to each spend 10 minutes a week praying for the persecuted believers in North Korea. One of the most repressive countries in the world, North Korea continues to be one of the countries with the worst persecution of Christians. The goal is to blanket the country with prayer, 24 hours a day. You can sign-up for the exact 10 minute slot you prefer.
Here are some topics they suggest:

Prayer Requests: Child Beggars: There is so much poverty in North Korea, and children, in particular, suffer the most. These children who have no parents and no home try to grab every grain of rice on the ground at the local markets, but they are often driven away without having had anything to eat. Pray for these child beggars on the streets. These children have no one to care for them. Pray for good supervision of these children and that they may one day hear the Gospel. Guards/Prisoners: There are various prison camps in North Korea; their conditions are appalling. Christians are imprisoned if it becomes known that they love the Lord Jesus. Please pray that these Christians will be able to show something of the Light of Christ to their fellow prisoners and to the guards. An ex-prisoner from one of these terrible prison camps, Soon Ok Lee, said that the Christians she met in the camps never denied God and continued to be a living testimony to their faith. Underground Christians: In North Korea any expression of faith in Christ is punished and they are in great danger of being sent to a prison camp. Pray for the Christians who continue underground, despite the difficult circumstances and pray for safe and encouraging meetings.

10 Minutes a week. Go ahead. Sign-up. You can do it! Pray in faith that the power of God can cause changes we cannot even imagine. Prayer can go through a closed border, and can go behind the walls of the concentration camps. Prayer can touch hearts that don't even share our language. Prayer can cause nations to rise, and nations to fall.

Another opportunity for humility

I guess I should have expected this. Last week I taught about the life and character of David, and I stressed his humility, and the need for us to learn humility ourselves, as an aspect of maturity.

So I shouldn't have been surprised at a perfect growth opportunity that came up this morning. Imagine another morning at the nursing home. I was busy setting up the mic and the music for the hymns, and the aides were wheeling in the residents. As they bustled back and forth I mentioned that I wouldn't be there next time, since I would be visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. And the next thing I knew, one of the old ladies yells out: "I really don't care!"

Everyone in the room froze, and then tried to shush her, but I just started laughing. If David accepted it when he was cursed by Shimei, the least I can do is accept it when I'm yelled at by a little old lady. Then again, the problem with humility is that as soon as you think you've got it, you don't have it.

Anyway, after that rather inauspicious beginning, I began to speak. I sort of fixed my attention on one lady who seemed especially alert and interested. I thought I was really getting through to her. At the end, when we went around praying for each one, I was pleased to greet her, only to find out that she doesn't even speak English. She simply has a face that looks friendly and interested, but she wasn't actually listening to, or understanding anything I said.

So I figure I'll redeem myself by singing her something in Italian, and the only thing I can think of on the spot is Caro Mio Ben (an aria I learned in college). I'm halfway through that when I vaguely realize that it's not especially appropriate, but decide that I might as well end the day with a splash, as I sing:
Caro mio ben,
credimi almen,
senza di te languisce il cor.
It's even worse in English:
My dear beloved,
believe me at least,
without you my heart languishes.
Anyway, she laughed, which was actually the high point of the day.

You couldn't make this up

Recently, an Israeli prisoner, excavating a new prison ward intended to house Palestinian prisoners, in the town of Megiddo (the Biblical place of Armageddon), discovered the ruins of an ancient Christian church. I thought it was a spoof at first -- it seemed too implausible, like a badly plotted soap opera.

So far, the archeologists believe that the church dates back to the third century. If so, it would make it the oldest church in Israel, and it could shed light on Christian practices of that era. Ironically, the historic importance is so significant that even the Israeli government is excited about this.

People from all over the world come to see Megiddo, beause it is incredibly rich archeologically, dating from the Chalcolithic period, with 26 different cities built on top of each other. I visited there myself, and was astounded by the sophistication of the ancient civilizations. If you ever go, be sure to see the iron age tunnel.

But now there is a new reason to visit Megiddo -- to see the ruins of this early church. Parenthetically, we know from inscriptions found in the ruins, that it was built with money donated by a Roman officer, and a woman named Aketous. Of course, you can't really visit it yet, because they have to figure out what to do with the prison first!

Does anyone care?

I've been getting an uneasy feeling lately.

As American Christians, we claim to love the people of the world, yet we don't even seem to notice when they are dying.

There have been a lot of headlines lately when the US casualty count in Iraq hit 2000, but has anyone noticed that the civilian body count has hit an estimated 25,000?

Everywhere you turn, there are fundraisers for those impacted by Katrina. That is appropriate -- I've gladly contributed myself, and it makes sense that we should take care of our own people.

But here's my question: what about the people who are suffering from the earthquake in Pakistan? It's not even mentioned on most news programs any more. No one really knows how many have died. Some say 55,000. Some say 80,000, but no one really knows, partly because half a million people have not received ANY aid because no one has even reached them yet and the dead have not been counted.

People are dying daily from preventable diseases, such as tetanus. 3 million are without food and shelter, and winter is setting in. Due to the combined effect of the mountainous area and the roads destroyed by the earthquake, the only hope for many of these people is via helicopter, which frankly is going to require international donations both of cash and of equipment. This isn't yet a reconstruction effort, it is still a critical rescue phase. It's too late for the people who are buried, but it's not to late for many of the injured and homeless, if they are rescued before they have gangrene, and before they freeze to death, and before they starve.

Save a life today. Donate to World Vision, or to another agency that is on the scene.

But now that I've said the serious stuff, I'll mention a funny aside. In a peculiar twist of fate, I actually know the prime minister of Pakistan (not that he would remember me). Several years ago we worked together on the same computer project. I can't quite recall whether I taught him how to make his own coffee. That was before he was prime minister, of course.

Flaky Intercession

I've been reading a lot about prayer lately. I find that God knows how to work with my personality (He should, He created me!), and since I am an 'information person', he often communicates with me by causing me to want to read about something. And then somewhere down the line I start wanting to bring it into real life. So as I said, I've been reading a lot about prayer lately (and have gradually been starting to actually pray more too).

The title of this blog is from a chapter of a book by Cindy Jacobs, called Possessing the Gates of the Enemy. The subtitle is 'a training manual for militant intercession'. I like the book because it gets very practical, and moves beyond the theoretical.

For some reason, I was especially taken with the chapter Flaky Intercession, which contains warnings about things to avoid, and advice about safeguards.

The first safeguard is spiritual accountability and submission. This goes counter to the American value of independence. Cindy Jacobs stresses that intercessors (especially prophetic intercessors) need to be in relationship with a local church.

The second safeguard is having a clean heart. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we know best, that the tendency is to overstep and let our pride in hearing from God distort our prayers until they are manipulative or critical.

areodjarekput

Peter's comment about the Eskimo and the missionary reminded me of an interesting article I read online last week. Adam Jacot de Boinod has just written a book called The Meaning of Tingo. He studied hundreds of dictionaries in different languages, and found that the existence of unique words can actually imply something about the culture. As he puts it, "the culture of a country can be best summed up by its untranslatable words."

Anyone who has studied another language realizes that some words just can't be properly translated, because a true synonym doesn't exist. Sometimes it's because other languages simply don't need to support that much subtlety. As children, we used to go around impressing each other by boasting about how many words eskimos had for snow. I don't know where we got our information from, but it's probably true. Jacot de Boinod found that Hawaii has 47 separate words for banana. I can understand if there were separate terms for green, ripe and overripe, but I can't imagine needing 47 varieties, because I live in a place where it is not relevant.

Back to the Eskimo. "The Meaning of Tingo" cites the Inuit word "areodjarekput". Google news quotes the book as defining areodjarekput as the practice of exchanging wives for a few days to help pass the time in the long winter nights. A knowledge of the language might have helped the hapless missionary to understand the cultural norms, and be more sensitive in how he went about trying to teach a different way.

Similarly, perhaps missionaries to Bolivia should be aware that they have a word that means "I was rather too drunk last night and it's all their fault"?

I couldn't resist ordering the book. When I get it, I'll tell you if it is as interesting as it sounds.

The science of garbage disposal. How could I have missed that?

Have you seen this? It is a solar powered trash compactor. There's one across the street from the building where I work. I couldn't figure out what it was for a while. It had a 'Keep Queens Clean' poster on the side, which made it look like it had something to do with garbage or recycling, but the shape is more like a mailbox. And the solar cells on the top were puzzling. So I did a little research, and found out that this is the latest thing in garbage disposal.
For only $4,500, you too can purchase a solar powered trash compactor. The advantage is supposedly that the trash is compacted by a factor of 8. I have to warn you, though, that the lid and chute into which you feed the garbage gets pretty disgusting.

But while we are on the topic of garbage, at least it's better than the garbage cans on my side of the street, which have these attractive rounded tops, with cute little half-circles cut into them to deposit the garbage. The openings are cleverly just a tiny bit smaller than salad-bar take-out containers, thus forcing people to actually carry their garbage back to their desks rather than fill up the cute trash cans.

And that brings us to the trash can in the ladies room at church. I don't like the fact that you have to lift the lid with your hand. Doesn't that sort of defeat the fact that you just washed your hands? And if you take an extra paper towel to lift the lid with, it defeats the purpose of having the garbage can anyway, since you walk out still holding the extra paper towel.

Then there's the recycling notice we periodically get at work. The company wants to recycle all the computer printout. It's a goal I agree with, but the method never quite works. Basically, the problem is that in order to recycle the paper, it has to be separated from other kinds of garbage (such as the salad-bar containers that we carried back to our desks at lunch-time). For a while they actually gave us each two wastebaskets at our desks, that were color coded to separate recycling from garbage. I think that was too much work for the maids -- it's not as trivial as it sounds, because they have about 100 wastebaskets to empty just on one floor. So now they want people to throw only recycling paper into their desk wastebaskets, and to hand carry all other kinds of garbage to the receptacle in the central hallway.

There are a couple of problems with this. One is that I don't think 100 people will bother walking across the entire wing every time they want to throw out a soda can. But even if they solved that part, there is a more fundamental flaw. They haven't quite figured out that the maids empty all the garbage cans into the same big disposal bins for removal. It sort of reminds me of the story of the teen whose mother explained how to sort laundry before sending him to college. He carefully separated the lights and the darks, and then innocently dumped both piles into the same load.

I forgot, it's not about me

As most of you know, I lead a service in the nursing home twice a month. Recently, I was feeling discouraged because my one regular volunteer had to drop out for a while.

I asked myself why I was bothering to keep showing up after all these years.

I asked myself whether a more gifted person would be able to draw more volunteers.

I asked myself whether the number of people who sleep through the service is proof of how boring I am.

I asked myself why the staff didn't know any better than to stand behind me carrying on a distracting conversation, while I was trying to lead the service.

I asked myself why I bother trying to pray for each one individually at the end, when half of them are suddenly desperate to get out of the room instead. Of course, the ones that aren't trying to leave are desperate for attention. Two of the ladies were gravely insulted a couple of weeks ago, because they felt they had been intentionally skipped by my partner who was covering their half of the room. I had actually heard him greet them by name, so I'm confident they weren't skipped, and I think the problem was that 5 minutes later they simply didn't remember being prayed for. But they were truly offended, and I had had to beg their forgiveness. I asked myself what the point was.

I asked myself whether the heckler should be teaching me something. While I was leading a prayer for the victims of Katrina, she kept shouting "Get a move on!"

And then I looked out at the room filled with old people in wheelchairs, and noted that it was more crowded than usual. There were 30 people, not counting the staff. I suddenly realized that there are full-fledged churches that average fewer attendees than that (even though theirs are probably all conscious, and some of mine aren't). And God reminded me that it's not just a room filled with wheelchairs, it's a congregation.

And then, one of the aides ran up to me and gave me an exuberant hug. Last time she asked me to pray because her daughter had moved to Florida, and didn't have a job. She could hardly wait to tell me the news that her daughter had found a job.

And then, after the service, one of the ladies called me over, handed me an envelope, containing a note with some inspirational sayings, pulled me close and said sincerely "you are a good preacher". I always think of myself as a teacher, not as a preacher, so it was a particular gift that day for her to affirm that.

And I suddenly realized once again, that it's not about me. I was worried about my lack of help, and my lack of gifting, and even my lack of motivation, but in the meanwhile there was a congregation waiting to be fed, and comforted, and prayed for.

How do you reach out, without watering down the gospel?

I often get stuck on this question. How do you reach out, and find common ground, and show respect to the other person's beliefs, without watering down the gospel?

I've heard about the abuses that missionaries have committed in the past, where they were as vigorous about standing for Western culture as they were about the gospel. I remember in particular a story that is not especially important, but seemed really symbolic of the problem. A missionary visited a tribe, brought her own cultural mores, and left (I don't recall the circumstances). But the sad part is what happened when a new missionary came years later. The local people were shocked and suspicious of the new missionary, because she was evidently not a holy person. What were the grounds for this accusation? She wore the wrong kind of shirt. The previous missionary had been fond of a particular style, and had somehow communicated that this was the symbol of holiness.
So I can see the arrogance and stupidity in that, but I find it hard to understand what to do in real life.

What about visiting religious services in other faiths? How much can you participate? I know that I'm not likely to visit a seance, for example, (unless God specifically leads me to do so), but what about things that are not so overtly demonic? What about festivals for the earth goddess? What about non-Christian meditation? What about new age practitioners? Where do you draw the line between respecting them as a person and condoning what they are doing?

Usually I end up just standing with a sort of frozen smile while they tell me about whatever 'wonderful' thing they are involved with, because I'm trying to build a starting point of respect rather than argument. But then I wonder whether I'm just being a chicken. Maybe it's just an excuse on my part, and I'm actually afraid to share the Gospel. I have to admit that I'm truly not sure which it is.

When I read Paul's letters, it seems that he usually just jumped in with both feet (not worrying about his listeners' self-esteem as much as we do!) But then there was that time in Athens that he drew a parallel with their own beliefs.

Years ago, I read a book called Bruchko, by a missionary to the Motilone Indians. I read it about 25 years ago, so I probably have some of the details mixed up. He entered their culture, and spoke in analogies they could understand. For example, when he was trying to teach them to disinfect their huts, he told them that bleach would kill the evil spirits, and even showed them germs under a microscope, called them spirits, and said he could kill them. Clearly, God anointed his work, and there was terrific fruit. But I'm not sure what the best lesson is to learn from it.

Maybe it all boils down to learning to listen God, and be led by God, rather than copying someone else's technique.

Figs and Chayote

For me, one of the big pleasures of travel is trying different foods.

I just went to the market, where I purchased some fresh figs. As soon as I saw them I was transported to a teak sailing vessel in the Agean Sea, off the coast of Turkey. I remembered the sun, and the motion of the waves, and the bees buzzing about, and the sweet, tender juicy fig. If you have only eaten dried figs, the fresh variety is totally different. In fact, it is sort of like the difference between a raisin and a grape. You dry the latter to get the former, but you would never confuse the two. Unfortunately, the figs I bought at the market were but a pale shadow of their Turkish cousins. Seated at the table on the deck of our gulet, we bit into the fresh figs, and agreed that we had never tasted anything quite like it.

At the same market, I noticed chayote. This is a pale green squash that I encountered in Costa Rica. It has a mild flavor and a smooth texture. It's rather innocuous -- not really the kind of thing I expect anyone to love or hate. But just seeing it reminded me of dinner in the middle of the rain forest. The nearest town was only two blocks long, and was a hard 50 minute drive from the hotel. We had purchased the ingredients for dinner based on a shopping list that our guide had recited to us, while we frantically made phoenetic notes. We eagerly rushed into the shop and hopefully recited the unfamiliar words -- chayote among them. The shopkeepers were friendly and helpful, but couldn't understand why we didn't smile and say 'Si' when they gestured to the desired item. How to explain that we didn't even know what we were asking for, so we didn't know whether we had found it!

Back at the hotel, we were invited to help make dinner if we liked. I was eager to see what would be done with these mysterious foodstuffs. Each was peeled, chopped, and thrown into a huge pot. We eventually ended up with a tasty soup. As I recall, the vegetables were scooped out and served separately, but then we each received a bowl of broth into which we dumped the vegetables again. I'm not sure we did it 'right', but we enjoyed it. To this day, the sight of a chayote brings back the aroma of the soup, and the good humored amusement of the cooks who saw that we didn't even know how to prepare simple vegetables.

TV worth watching--Bonhoeffer

Steve's blog inspired me to comment on a program I saw on PBS, about Bonhoeffer. Dietrich Bonhoeffer resisted Nazi Germany (even to the extent of being part of a plot to kill Hitler) and was executed by hanging, on April 9th, 1945. The movie contrasted his endeavors with the behavior of the church at large.

I never realized how much the churches actually went along with Naziism -- I guess I was assuming that it was sins of omission (bad enough), rather than sins of commission.

Hearing that the churches actually prohibited semitic pastors, and finally semitic members, makes me wonder what they would have done had Jesus tried to walk in...

It makes me understand that the Jewish fear of Christians is not just paranoia, but is rather something that needs to be addressed by honesty and repentence on the part of the church at large.

And it also makes me wonder what injustices are going on now, about which history will ask "where was the church?". Although I guess I should be more concerned with what God thinks than what history thinks. So let me re-phrase the question: What injustices break God's heart, and therefore should break ours?

Cooperation in the midst of tragedy

We've all seen pictures of the devestation in the New Orleans area. It's not just the loss of life, it's the enormity of the relocation effort. And we've all heard the accusations of mismanagement on every level of government. But I want to focus on the flip side -- the fact that tragedy really does bring out the best in (some) people.

I'm sure as the days, weeks and months go by, we'll here anecdotes about personal heroism. And I'm sure that there will be many more stories we never hear about, because the people involved simply felt they were doing the right thing, and didn't call it heroic.

But I'm fascinated by the response of people at a distance -- both individuals and countries. Did you know that countries all over the world have offered help? Some of the poorest countries in the world are opening their hearts to help America. After an initial misguided refusal from the White House, the U.S. is finally accepting at least some of the help.

Bangladesh has pledged one million dollars, and has also offered to send rescue specialists. To put this in context, you have to realize how poor Bangladesh is. Their citizens have an average income of less than a dollar a day.

Sri Lanka has pledged a symbolic amount of $25,000. It may seem trivial until you realize that they are still in the middle of recovery from the tsunami -- which took 41,000 lives, and damaged two thirds of their coastal areas.

Also interesting is the response from countries with whom we have an either controversial or even adversarial relationship. Afghanistan, Iran, Venezuela and Cuba have all offered support.

Many countries have experts who are ready to fly in to help, as soon as they are given the green light. Imagine an international army of specialists, in the areas of medicine, search & rescue, phone lines, water purification, etc.

Lets hope that we are not too proud to accept the help.

Here are a couple of interesting articles on the international cooperation:
Offers of Aid from around the world (CNN)
World offers Aid as a Thank You (CBS)
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if this tragedy (and others) caused the people of the world to view each other as human beings in need of comfort and support, rather than as political targets to be used for various agendas.

different ways to say Goodbye

It occurred to me the other day that in many different languages, saying 'goodbye' refers to God. Did you know that in English, 'goodbye' is a contraction of 'God be with you'? Maybe I shouldn't have let the cat out of the bag -- I can just imagine some politically correct secularist claiming that it is innapropriate to say this word in a public place.

The whole question of what 'goodbye' really means came to me the other evening while talking to a Muslim waitress in town. For some reason, I seem to see her almost every Sunday on my way to church, and on Friday evenings on my way home. I'm not sure how it works out that her break happens exactly when I'm passing by, but we generally nod and smile and say 'hi' as I pass.

On Friday evening, I felt led to actually stop and talk to her. I noticed a slight accent and asked where she was from. When she said Cyprus, I asked what language she spoke (since it might be Turkish or Greek). She said Turkish, so I was happy that I had a particular way of reaching out. I said 'hello' to her in Turkish. She was pleased, and said 'merhaba' back. I invited her to church, and she told me she is Muslim. I said she would be welcome to come visit anyway, and she seemed pleased, but her Sunday shift starts at 9:30am so she can't make it.

As we wrapped up our conversation, I said 'goodbye' to her in Turkish. 'Allaha ismarladik'. And she responded with the classis 'Güle güle' , which spoken by the person who is staying, and actually means 'go with a smile'. And then I suddenly remembered that the word for word translation of what I had said actually meant 'I'm leaving you with God, or I put myself in the hands of God'.

That made me think of the other languages that also invoke God's blessing when you say farewell. Think of 'Adieu' (French), or of 'Adios' (Spanish).

I tried looking up some other languages, and found a website that gives common greetings in 800 languages. It turns out that many languages are very specific in how one says goodbye, depending on how many people you are speaking to, or whether you are the one going or staying, or whether it is night or morning, or whether it is formal or informal. My favorite was Kwanyama (a language I'm not familiar with). In Kwanyama you have to keep track of whether you are person #1, 2, 3 or 4 in the conversation.

Just remember that when you say 'goodbye' you are really blessing someone. In this secular day and age, it's a sneaky way of praying for someone without anyone noticing!

Goodbye!

I didn't know I needed that

Have you noticed the items for sale that you never knew you needed? I have to admit that sometimes I'll see something that I never saw before, and suddenly I develop a need to try it out. (The Mr Clean magic eraser comes to mind -- it really does clean marks on the wall). But then there are the items that I don't need, I don't want, and I don't understand why anyone is buying them.

• Premade, frozen peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches. I do realize that one of my very best friends thinks these are wonderful, but I still don't get it. Maybe its because I like the version I make for myself: toasted multi-grain bread, macadamia and cashew nut butter, and raspberry jam. Yum!
  
• Premade jello. When you make it at home, the entire recipe consists of boiling water and stirring. So buying it already made baffles me.
  
• frozen yogurt and ice cream for DOGS! This is the item that gave me the idea for this blog. I don't know about you, but my freezer does not have any extra room for doggie ice cream. I've got regular ice cream, lime ice pops, and soy ice cream, as well as some leftover Italian ices from my last kinship, and that uses up my allocation of ice cream real estate.
  
• Candle warmers. These take a little explanation. The purpose is to warm up the candle so the aroma comes out, and you don't need to burn the candle. Considering the fact that I'm always seeking for pretty unscented candles to burn, the idea of doing the reverse puzzles me.
  

I bet you can think of some more contenders for this category -- I didn't know I needed that!...

Do you ever wonder?

A friend of mine recently went to London on a business trip, and enjoyed walking through all the wonderful historic churches. He encountered one I had never heard of: St Andrew-by-the-wardrobe. (The hyphens are apparently part of the name). Clearly, Andrew must have been a popular saint's name, in order to require such a distinctive qualification. So I wonder, WHY was he called that? How long was he by the wardrobe? Maybe he wanted to be a pole sitter but had a fear of heights, and tried to start a new discipline, but it never caught on. If you know the answer to this one, please tell me.

Well, after getting Andrew-by-the-wardrobe stuck in my brain, I was suddenly noticing saint's names all over the place. For some reason that I cannot explain, I was browsing through the yellow pages one day, and started reading all the church names. I was delighted to find that right here on Long Island we had our own distinctive name: Our lady of Peach. It reminded me of the legend that puts Mary in Ephesus in her later years, and about the fact that Turkey has wonderful aromatic peaches, and I was trying to recall whether any of the icons in Ephesus showed Mary holding a peach. Of course, a few hours later I realized that it was a typo, but I sure enjoyed it while it lasted.

Moving from the sacred to the secular, there's another thing I wonder about TV commercials. Who chooses the music that goes with them? There was one a little while ago that played Carmina Burana. I don't remember what the Ad was for, but I found the music an odd choice. If you are not familiar with it, here is an English translation of one of the verses in the first movement:

Fate is against me
in health
and virtue,
driven on
and weighted down,
always enslaved.
So at this hour
without delay
pluck the vibrating strings;
since Fate
strikes down the strong man,
everybody weep with me!

Why would anyone want to buy this product?

And a more recent commercial that bugs me is the Toyota ad that uses an arrangement of What Shall we do with the Drunken Sailor. Who thinks these things up? Should we really be singing about drunken sailors when buying cars?

More about 'J'

I got a call this evening from 'J'. She had been thinking about my invitation to church, and was calling to ask some questions. She was pretty motivated, because she didn't have my phone number, and also didn't remember my last name. So she had to do some detective work.

She was also worried about whether we have communion and whether she would be allowed to skip it, because she is Catholic, but isn't allowed to receive communion in the Catholic church (because she is in a non-Catholic marriage). She is clearly struggling with the issue that her own church wants her to get her marriage annulled, which she is not planning to do, yet she still feels she must abide by it's regulations in regards to communion.

Pray for 'J'. Pray that the Lord draws her heart. And while we're at it, lets pray for her husband, too.

A third conversation with 'J'.

I missed an opportunity today to pray for someone. I can think of lots of excuses, but the fact remains that I missed an opportunity.

'J' is a neighbor of mine. Other than saying 'Hi' when we pass each other in the parking lot, I've only had two actual conversations with her before today.

This afternoon, my doorbell rang. That's pretty unusual for me. I was surprised to find that it was 'J'. I didn't understand what she wanted. She invited herself in, and I was sort of taken aback, but said ok. She asked whether I was on vacation (since I'm not usually home in the afternoon), and I explained that I was recuperating from major surgery.

She immediately jumped in with her story -- a long list of vague physical complaints that have all subsided except for indigestion. She speaks in a verbalized stream of consciousness, like the world's longest run-on sentence. She asks questions but doesn't pause for a response.

And I didn't feel well and I went to the doctor and he said I was fine and he did tests and he said I was fine did that ever happen to you? and then I felt better except I still have a burning pain in my stomach, and he said it's stress, can stress cause that? and he said I need to see a therapist, do you think I should? and he said I can take tums, did you ever take tums, and I went to a health food store and asked them I guess they should know what they are talking about and they gave me some stuff and what if something is really wrong can stress cause this and I don't know what to do!

At that point she started crying, so I got up and gave her a hug, and had her sit down, and tried to find out what she wanted. I suggested that she try following her doctor's instructions. But I was still to confused at what she was doing there to realize that what I should have done was offer to pray for her.

As she was walking out the door, she suddenly asked me what church I went to, and I invited her to visit, and explained that after each service there is an opportunity to receive prayer. But I blew my own opportunity to pray with her right then. Oh well. I was taken aback by some of the odd things she had said (which I haven't even included here), and I just wasn't thinking.

So you guys can be praying that I'll get another chance to minister to her. And also pray that I have the grace to handle it well, because she kind of drives me crazy.

Daytime TV--the commercials

Now that I'm becoming a connoisseur of daytime TV, I'm realizing that it's not just the shows that are different, it's also the commercials.

Sitting at home, I have inadvertently entered a different culture. I'm learning about motorized scooters, for people who just can't get around anymore. Apparently the people with these scooters also get free plastic surgery so their mouths are fixed permanently in a smile position.

Then there are various health and pharmacy plans. The best ones let you see whatever doctor you like with no referrals and no co-pay, and also get prescriptions included. It sounded like a good deal to me, but I'm not on Medicare so I don't think I qualify. But I suspect there was some fine print.

Then there are the bed and mattress commercials. For some reason, the most prevalent mattress companies all begin with the letter 'S'. Sleepy's, Serta, Simmons. And the one showing the most ads now is Sleep Number. We are treated to innumerable little vignettes of happy couples, whose entire lives have been changed due to their ability to set the two sides of the mattress to different firmness levels. Each ad is structured like a classic short story, with a situation, a conflict and a resolution. Here the people start out frowning, and end up smiling.

Then there are the legal ads, such as the one trolling for clients with defective pacemakers, or people who have been injured in nursing homes. No one is smiling in these ads.

The only positive thing I can say about the daytime commercials, is that at least you can tell what the ad is about. But the topics are pretty darn limited. It's sort of like going to a library and suddenly realizing that they only have books in one genre, like sci-fi or short stories.

My big disappointment is that my favorite commercial in this genre is no longer shown. You would think that if they do re-runs on all the programs they could do re-runs on the commercials too. The tag line has entered popular culture as a quotable quote: "help! I've fallen and I can't get up".

I'm thinking of starting a petition for better commercials on daytime TV.

Daytime TV

I've got to start with an apology to anyone who really loves gameshows -- you'll see why at the end of this blog.

While I've been recuperating at home, I've been watching more TV than usual. It's a different world (no pun intended). It's not just more TV, it's different.

For a while I thought I was doing well at holding back the influx of the inane, not to mention the insane. I limited myself to one talkshow per day, and chose the one that even seemed to have some edifying moments. I prided myself on avoiding the daytime dramas, and didn't pick up any reality shows.

But then I had a bit of a relapse, and found myself channel surfing. I innocently found a rerun of Jeopardy, and didn't realize that I had been sucked into the Game Show Network. Hour after hour passed, and the quality dropped show by show. By the second day, I clicked to GSN immediately. Some of it was like being in a time warp (just look at the haircuts on Family Feud). But some of it was culturally up to date -- did you know that there is a show where you indicate your desire to play the next round by chanting: "I need greed"? For some reason everyone claps at this point.

Anyway, I reached my nadir with an episode of the Newlywed game, followed by the Dating Game. I can't even explain why I was watching. It wasn't even particularly interesting or funny, and certainly wasn't edifying.

That night I was praying, and confessed to God that I had wasted time on this junk, and asked for help since I didn't even have the motivation to say I was going to try to do better.

This is where the apology comes in, because the following incident probably impacts lots of people besides me.

The next day, I found that Cablevision had pulled the channel from their lineup -- you need a different level of service to get it.

The moral of that story is, to be careful of what you pray for! Of course, another way of looking at it is that God was protecting me from myself.

A Walk in the Park

In case you were wondering why I haven't blogged lately, I have been recovering from surgery, and nothing really seemed interesting enough to bother blogging about.

While I recover, my daily schedule is very different from my normal frantic rush. Every day now, I get up and go for a walk in the park. I've noticed some curious patterns.

• Almost everyone in the park is retirement age. I wonder what it must be like to have the free time to do this regularly.
  
• The most popular activity is tennis -- the courts open at 8:30am, and people are lined up waiting. The men generally wear tennis whites, while some of the women go a little bit crazy and dare to wear lavender shorts.
  
• Women like to walk in pairs, chatting sociably. One woman proudly sports a metallic gold fanny pack
  
• Men like to jog or bike by themselves, purposefully. On the average they work out harder than the women. Their faces are sometimes alarmingly red, or even more alarmingly grey. I find myself reviewing the steps of CPR in my mind, and wondering where the nearest defibrillator is.
  
• One couple walks together. Every once in a while, without any apparent signal, they break into a jog for a short distance before dropping back to a walk. They always look very serious. They don't talk, although they might politely nod the head as I pass.
  
• Most of the single walkers are listening to I-pods.
  
• I haven't seen anyone pushing a stroller. Don't people do that anymore?
  
• I haven't seen anyone riding a horse (even though the nicest paths are equestrian-only).
  

It's as if I am a temporary member of a different society. But my Visa will be expiring soon and I'll be returning to my normal 'country', where I get up and get on the train instead of going to the park.

The scent of summer

Have you ever noticed that various seasons smell different?

Winter smells clean, and sometimes prickly.
Spring starts with the smell of thawing earth, and then eases into the aroma of flowering bushes -- Lilac is my favorite.
Summer smells like cut grass, and if you're lucky, like Roses.
Fall used to smell like burning leaves (when it was still legal), but now tends to have a musty scent of rotting leaves.

There is a wonderful tree I pass on my way to work. It is fading now, but it has aromatic flowers that look like tiny little orchids. They strew the ground as if a profligate flower girl has escaped from a wedding. I have no idea what it is. I also like the fact that it flowers after all of the spring trees, but before the summer flowers really get going. It grows intertwined with a Maple, so I never even notice it until it is fully in bloom, and the aroma stops me and causes me to look around.

p.s. to anyone who drives down North village avenue, the tree is in between the tudor and the medical building. Do you have any idea what it is?

VLI is over

I can't believe that VLI is actually over. I'm left with a big muddle of thoughts and feelings.

• It's been two years (7 quarters, actually).
  
• It has been wonderful, but also tiring.
  
• I haven't cleaned my apartment in 2 years. (As a friend used to say, "when you're looking for an excuse any one will do".)
  
• I've learned a lot. Although I'm a little afraid that I've turned into a little Steve Robbins clone. Not that I know anywhere near as much as he does, but I've been fully indoctrinated into the Steve Robbins zeitgeist.
  
• I'm sold on the concept and plan of how VLI balances the requirements -- some is taught at a distance (which gives the opportunity to hear from world renowned experts), and some is taught locally (which gives an opportunity for accountability). Some is academic (which provides a foundation) and some is practical (which also provides a foundation).
  
• It's clear that my personality is not suited to be a church planter. It sounds like a nightmare to me. I can't believe anyone wants to do that (although I'm glad they do, and I wish them well!)
  
• I really really recommend VLI...but you do have to count the cost.
  
• My younger classmates (both at my own church and elsewhere) really do memorize things much quicker and easier than I do. And they are much better as figuring out what they really need to spend time on, and what they can kind of gloss over. But it kind of reminds me of Fried Green Tomatoes. Remember the scene where the pretty teens swoop in and 'steal' the parking spot, and then obnoxiously explain "Face it lady, we're younger and faster!" Middle aged Evelyn then repeatedly crashes into their car (intentionally), and calmly replies: "Face it, I'm older and I have more insurance." Well, I'm older (and slower), and have better study habits. So it was quite interesting to see how we each compensate with our own strengths.
  
• I feel like I've learned about 10% of what was taught. And now I only remember about 5 percent of it. In fact, I almost wish I could take it again.
  
• Sometimes it was frustrating taking classes long distance. For example, several classes taught about teams, and how to choose people. In most of the church situations I've been in, however, it ends up being a question of desperately accepting any available warm bodies who volunteer. So how do you get enough volunteers that you even have the option of making a selection?
  
• It was a little scary hearing how often the teachers mentioned how cool it would be to be a martyr. Maybe it didn't actually come up that often, but it sure made an impact on me. Cool was not exactly the adjective I was thinking of.
  
• One of the best things about VLI was that the teachers combined academic qualifications with passion. It is such a privilege to hear from highly qualified teachers who really want to teach.
  
• At the beginning of VLI, I came up with a list of ideas for how to maximize my time to make it through. Most of these ideas actually worked well. The best ones were: getting a headset for my phone at home, so I can do stuff while on the phone, and cutting out random TV watching. I still watch a few favorite shows, but I don't watch aimlessly.
  
• I think most people who take VLI will find some pressure point. For me it was doing the projects. I really stressed out over that.
  
• It's a little humbling to realize that I'm still totally clueless about the major timeframes and people in the Bible. It's not that they didn't teach it, but my attention span was mainly on the concepts, and the dates and names kind of went in one ear and out the other.
  
• Unless you have an extraordinarily good memory, it really helps to come up with mnemonics or rhymes. For instance, the phrase "I Do Eat Peanuts, Not Olives" reminds me to consider whether a Biblical passage is Illustrative, Demonstrative, Exemplary, Prescriptive, Normative, or Obligatory. And then there were the 10 major historical events of the divided kingdom, which I set to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas: For the first major historical event, the kingdom was to-orn in two. For the se-cond major historical event, dynasty of Omri and the kingdom was torn in two... I don't remember all 10 anymore, but at least I remember a few.
  
• And somehow, the whole VLI experience has made me really respect and appreciate pastors even more. Thanks guys!
  

25 years later

I just returned from my 25th year college reunion. It's interesting to see what has changed, and what has stayed the same.

• The smart people are even smarter now.
  
• The sweet ones are even sweeter.
  
• The selfless ones are still helpful.
  
• The library still smells the same. We were all experiencing 'deja smell'.
  
• The big sycamore tree still stands proudly on the front lawn. It has been dying for the past 30 years. The replacement tree that was planted years ago is now about 30 feet tall, but the original one won't give up.
  
• The showers still switch suddenly from hot to cold (or back again) for no apparent reason.
  
• The lake is still beautiful.
  
• The stagecoach is still brought out for special events, complete with black horses, and a driver in uniform and white gloves.
  
• It's still a wonderful, supportive community.
  But...
  
• The spiral staircase seems steeper than it used to be. The hills are steeper too.
  
• The beds are narrower. (I actually fell out of bed!)
  
• The food is better (although maybe they made a special effort for us).
  
• The professors are younger.
  
• The Alma Mater is more dated, but also more touching.
  
• Only one person was skinnier than she used to be. (And it wasn't me).
  

Prayers are answered for distracted congregation

The title of this post was actually a headline on a Reuters News article.

Apparently, St. John's Rectory Church has decided to install a Wi-Fi 'hotspot', so parishoners can send an email or surf the internet while in church.

The intention is to make the church a 'sanctuary for everyone'. Apparently, people are so used to constant electronic access that they can't be expected to be comfortable without it.

It's a sad commentary that church seems so peripheral that it only gains in value if you can multi-task. It really challenges me to consider how far we can and should go to reach out to those outside the church. At what point are we becoming like them, under the guise of drawing them in?

But it did give me some ideas. Why not capitalize on the concept of instant, wireless communication, and advertise the church as a prayer hotspot? Instant access to God. No monthly fee. No hardware required. Never down for maintenance. Installation is simple, and can be done by the following voice commands:
"Lord Jesus, I'm sorry for my sins..."

Banning Gossip

Ignacio Jimenez, mayor of Icononzo, has banned gossip in his town, in Columbia.

That's an amazing concept. Gossipers will incur jail time. The reason for the ban is that people were actually being murdered due to rumors.

I can't imagine such a ban actually working in the US -- it sounds like something that the ACLU would be against. People have an American right to free speech, even if the speech is harmful. But I have an idea. Even if we can't have an official civic ban, maybe pastors could ban gossip in their church. There certainly are clear biblical grounds for this -- consider especially Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I'm not sure what the best punishment should be. But I think some sort of community service would be appropriate, since it would minister to the community that was damaged by the gossip.

Of course, it would be only fair to warn newcomers about the ban. Maybe we need a standard symbol to indicate that you are in a 'no gossip' zone. How about a logo with a mouth whispering into an ear, surrounded by the classic red circle with a slash? It would work sort of like the drug-free zones around schools. Or like the quiet zones they used to have around hospitals.

Are you ready to take the 'no gossip' challenge?

Notes from Columbus: Gordon Fee - Philippians

Gordon Fee taught a series on Philippians.

05/03/2005 When you read the bible, ask two things:
- What is the historical context?
- What kind of document is it?

Philippians historic context:

• Paul is in prison, probably in rome
  
• The believers in Philippi have sent Paul a gift
  
• There is some internal unrest (not as strong as the division in Corinth)
  Philippians type of document:
  
• Blend of 2 kinds of ancient letter: a letter of friendship and a letter of moral exhortation -- stories of exemplary virtues.
  
• Note that friendship in the greco-roman world was quite different from how we use the world. It was so strong it was almost a contract, based on absolute trust and total good will. Your friend would care for yuour family if you died or otherwise couldn't. The principle of reciprocity - the giving and receiving of help.
  
• And the obligations of friendship, the principles of reciprocity, are then attributed to God: "And my God will supply all your needs, according to his riches in Christ Jesus".
  

05/04/2005 Philippians 2:1-18
Paul calls us to be likeminded; the same mindset; one in spirit.

Avoid attitudes that destroy unity: selfish ambition and vain conceit; rivalry; desire to get ahead at the expense of others; selfishness.

Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves not to your own interests. (N.B. NIV adds the word 'only' -- 'not only to your own interests' but the Greek doesn't have the word 'only'. The TNIV will remove the word 'only').

This passage exists to refute selfish ambition, it does it by emphasizing two things:
1) Christ's pre-existence as God. As God he emptied himself.
2) Christ's incarnation. As Man, he humbled himself.
These two statements stand against selfish ambition and vainglory.
God is interested in confirming us into his image, not just in populating heaven. The antidote to selfish ambition is in coming to God, and discovery that he is like his son, who poured himself out, humbling himself.

Philippians 2:9-11 God the father's vindication of the son in his pouring himself out.

God has stamped his full approval by highly exalting his son and bestowing on him the name - The Name. When God reveals himself to Moses he says this is The Name - Yahweh. In the Shema, it says 'The Lord is one'. In Jewish history they stopped even pronouncing the name Yahweh, and substituted Adonai. But God has given Jesus The Name, so at the name of Jesus every knee should bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is God and Lord.

The only Lord is the incarnate crucified one. Eventually, every knee will bow. Our mission is to bring people to this confession now. To so preach Christ crucified, risen, exalted, that people will follow him and confess that Jesus is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father.

05/05
Remember that Philippians is a combination of two things: a letter of friendship, and a letter of moral exhortation.

The heart of the exhortation is 3 paradigmatic stories.

1. Paul in prison -- his response is a pradigm for how to live in adversity.
   
2. The story of Christ -- how to live in the context of conflict: the mindset of Christ, not living out of selfish ambition.
   
3. Living Christ in the context of opposition
   

In verses 3:1 and 4:4, we usually see this translated as "finally" but it more correctly means 'what's next'. So the TNIV says "further" instead of "finally".

• "Rejoice in the Lord" -- the focus is on the Lord, not on an emotion.
  
• The phrase "we boast in the Lord Jesus" uses 'boast' in the sense of putting their confidence in. don't have confidence in wisdom or wealth or strength, but have confidence in the Lord, knowing that he exercises kindness and justice in the world.
  
• Paul tells his own story as a paradigm in 3 parts:
  
  
  
  • v 4-6 the future does not lie in the past.
    
  • v 7-11 the future lies in the present.
    
  • v12-14 the future.
    
  
  In v 4-6, we see that the future does not lie in the past. Paul acknowledges all the things that were simply given to him -- circumcised on the 8th day, etc. These were not due to his own merit, they were part of his heritage. Then he goes on to his actual accomplishments: with regard to sin, blameless. The way to go forward is not to go backward.
  
  In v 7-11. Do we know Jesus or do we just know about him? This is talking about intimate knowledge. In v 10-11 he elaborates what knowing him means-- by the power of his resurrection to live in conformity with his death. It's not a question of enjoying suffering it is a cruciform lifestyle. Being conformed into the likeness of his death, being shaped into his image.
  
  v12-14 talks about the future. We are in the 'already', but there is also a 'not yet'. We have not yet reached the goal.
  
  The 'one thing' is Christ, not some other prize. Paul uses the race metaphor. We need to keep our eyes fixed on the prize, knowing him, because someday we are going to know him even as we are known.
  

the vertical bed 

Notes from Columbus: cross-cultural musings

I have just returned from the Vineyard Pastors/Leaders' Conference in Columbus, and I've been thinking about the challenges of cross-cultural ministry. It occurred to me that we really need the grace of God to sensitize us to our differences.
I live in New York, and the conference was 'next door' in Ohio, and yet we even noticed differences there. Same country. Same language. Same weather. And on the surface the same culture. But differences at every turn.

Here are some of the differences we noticed:

• 'Traffic calming'. We think we finally inferred what this meant. The street through the housing development leading to the church had signs announcing 'traffic calming'. We think that was warning us about the traffic 'humps', which sort of look like squashed 'speed bumps'. Unfortunately, traffic calming doesn't work on people from NY. Clearly we too have been impacted by the normal rebellious condition of New Yorkers. We kept asking each other whether we were feeling calm, and finally gave in to the temptation to drive fast over the hump just to see what would happen. Nothing. We didn't bottom out. We didn't fly through the air. I didn't spill my coffee. Apparently, people in Ohio take it sincerely when you tell them to be calm, while people from New York get rambunctious.
  
• Food. Our first meal in Ohio was at a restaurant whose menu proudly listed Fried Cornmeal Mush. Trust me, that's just not something you would see in New York. Not at a restaurant, at least. It's true that my mother used to make it (and it's pretty good if you put enough butter and maple syrup on it), but I always thought she made it up. On the other hand, it seems that none of the waiters in Ohio have ever heard of club soda. My friend even tried explaining that it's like soda without any flavor. She finally found one waiter who thought that maybe he had heard of it. And then there was the restaurant that served strangely flavorless grilled skewered beef. We finally decided that it had been boiled. And none of us even dared to try the objects that purported to be bagels.
  
• Furniture: I'm not sure if this really counts as an Ohio difference, but it was a new experience for me. When we checked into the hotel I was eager to see if the extra bed we had arranged for would be in our room. The bed was there, but it was vertical. It had straps to keep the mattress and bedding from falling off. There wasn't enough empty floor space in the room to set the bed down.
  I wasn't sure what to do, so I asked the front desk to take care of it. But when we returned to the room at about 10:30pm, it was still vertical. I had this sudden image of the sleeping arrangements that the astronauts used on the Apollo missions, sort of a hanging cocoon.
  
• Friendliness. Everyone we met in Columbus was really friendly, not just in the church, but even out in the wild. For example, the woman who checked me through the security screening in the airport not only hoped I would have a good flight, but wished me a happy mothers' day. I'm not a mother, but the thought was nice.
  

Do you see what I mean? Even someplace as similar as Ohio and New York has cultural differences. So if we add differences of geography and climate and race and ethnicity and language and history and economics and education, we're really going to have to rely on God's grace to teach us to see what's important, and not get hung up on the stylistic details.

Notes from Columbus: 5/6/2005 Bert Waggoner

Bert Waggoner gave the closing talk:

Urban Centers: In 1890, only 3% of the world lived in urban areas. In 1950, 29% did, and by 2000, half the population of the world lived in cities.

The early church was an urban movement. Think of Paul's journeys, but ever since the first few centuries we have been moving away from the cities in terms of missionary activity. More of our energy and efforts need to be refocused in urban centers.

The spirit of God is hovering over the cities of the world, beckoning God's peole to touch all the things represented in the city: ethnic diversity, crime, broken homes, etc.

To be on a mission with God is to be concerned with the whole land. We're going to have to become multicultural and multiethnic. We have to come to grips with what it means to embrace different cultures and ethnicities. Look at the columbus vineyard: they are releasing all the resources of the church to reach out into the community. They will be building a community center to provide medical and legal assistance to the members of the community.

We need to be full of compassion and full of love to break into the darkness. Large churches are needed to do these major projects. Small churches are also important and can team with other churches to have a bigger impact.

The gospel is a gospel of reconciliation, to break down cultural and economic and racial barriers. We need to address social justice and the great moral issues of the day.

If the Vineyard is going to be viable we need to focus our energy on building Hispanic, Asian, and African American churches.

Boise Vineyard is addressing the abuse of the environment. They've got a website called Lets Tend The Garden, based on their understanding that the Lord has called us to be stewards of our environment.

We're not going to reach the inner cities and the youth of America by adopting political agendas. The church cannot be boutht by political lobbies -- we have already been bought by the blood of Christ. The church is to be a prophetic community, an alien nation, so we can be salt and light to the world.

We need the rest of the body of Christ. We need one another. We recognize how desperately we need one another -- that's maturity. The larger and smaller churches need each other. Maturity is taking on the role of a servant. We need to choose to be servants.

As John Wimber used to say: "I'm a nickel in God's pocket -- He can spend me any way he wants". We submit ourselves to the Word. Be courageous. Be bold. In constant submission to the living Word, quickened to us by the Spirit.

We're going to be the kind of committed people who go into the land, listening to his voice, watching for what he does, and saying "Lord, we're going to follow you". Here's the way to go:

• Place yourself under the Lord
  
• Burn your bridges
  
• commit yourself
  
• Be a people of the word
  
• Preach the word
  
• Share in God's mission to the world.
  
• Be committed to the Lord, and to one another.
  

Joshua ordered the officers of the people to get ready to cross the Jordan. That goes for us too:
Get ready!
God's not through with us.
Say "yes Lord!".

Notes from Columbus: 5/5/2005 - Phil Strout

Phil Strout spoke on Continuing on with the Mission of God.

Gen 3:15, God announces enmity, but explains how he'll fix it. The gospel in miniature. The fall and salvation.
Later, God calls Abram, and says he will be a light to the nations.

Mission is discovering what the Lord is doing. It is the Lord who is moving people globally. If we're going to the nations, we need to go together in teams.
Acts 13 says that Antioch was founded by 'some men' - not by an individual. Loneliness is an issue for leaders. We need to send leaders in community.

Think of the example of St Patrick, who went to Ireland with a team. Francis of Assissi walked with a team. In acts 14, notice all the references to "they". And in modern times, think of a Luis Palau crusade, which takes a whole year of preparation by hundreds of people.

We need to protect the rest of our 'herd'. Don't go alone.

Mission is for the neighborhood on the way to the nations -- its not about crossing a body of water. It can start right here.

No one is expendable. Don't let anyone in the family walk away. do it together, so people don't get lonely or alienated. There is an African proverb: if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.

We need to discover what the father is doing now. This is our destiny.

Notes from Columbus: 5/5/2005 Bob Groth

Bob Groth taught a workshop called 'Pastoral care of Death and dying'. In addition to being a pastor, he works for Hospice, and has a lot of experience in ministering to the dying and their families.

There is a difference between being terminal and being actively dying.

When someone dies and the family asks if they are in heaven, you can say that God is the one who looks on the heart, not us. And God is merciful.

When people know that their time is limited, help them deal with the 5 thoughts to help with closure: I love you. I forgive you. Will you forgive me? Thank you. Good bye. Help them address these areas with their families.

It's not just a question of helping the patient or even helping the family, it is also to help the patient communicate with the family. Ask key questions to get them going ("how did you meet"?) and also ask facilitating questions ("is there anything else you need to discuss?").

Give the signal that you are giving them your complete attention. Take off your coat. Sit down. Look at them. Depending on how the room is set up it might work better to kneel by the bed so the patient can easily see you.

Sometimes the church wants to keep praying for healing, when it is really time to let the patient and family get used to the idea of dying, and get closure. So there is a balance between retaining hope and preparing for death.

Here is an order of service that Bob uses:
- Welcome to the people
- Prayer, thanking God that we are part of the family of god
- Scripture reading
- Read the obituary
- General sharing. You can also encourage people who don't have the time or inclination to share that they can write these things and send them to the family later.
- Message
- Lord's prayer
- Some sort of blessing or reading.

Be a bridge among the family. they will often be of varying denominations. Preach the good news wherever you can. Draw a boundary, however -- if the family wants a service with no mention of God, you have a right to turn that down, because what is there left to say?

Notes from Columbus: 5/5/2005 Philip Jenkins

Philip Jenkins recently wrote an award-winning book called The next Christendom. It is an eye-opening look at the projected future of Christianity.

The current picture of the demographics of Christianity: 2 billion Christians worldwide, of which 550,000 are in Europe, 470,000 in Latin Americ, and 360,000 in Africa.

If the rate of change goes on, by 2025, Latin America nad Africa will probably be tied for the most Christians. By mid-century, Africa will be the heartland of Christianity. Worldwide, there will be 3 billion Christians, of which only 1/5 will be Caucasian.

The rate of growth is incredible. Some African pastors are actually praying for fewer converts, since they have so many that they can't handle any more. Archbishops are worn out by having to consecrate so many new churches. And all of this growth is happening in the middle of devastating sickness. A picture of a 'typical' Christian would look more like a poor woman in Africa or China, than a white suburban American.

In 2050, if the current growth rate continues, the estimates are that countries with large numbers of Christians will include US, Mexico, Brazil, Nigeria, and the Congo, for example. But NOT on the list are Britain, France, Italy and Spain.

Mainstream Christianity in the future will be what we see today in African churches -- a pentacostal flavor with an emphasis on social justice.

The most important reason driving change is simply demographic. The average age in Italy is 40. The average age in Uganda is 16. 90% of the young people of the world are in Africa, Asia, and Latin America.

The growth of Christianity is a women's movement. Even if the denomination doesn't ordain women, they are key converts and influencers.

Global Christianity is a healing movement. Especially focused on Luke 8. This includes the knowledge of the reality of the demonic, and exorcisms.

In the 1960s there was an expectation that the world would be scientific and urban, industrialized. But this hasn't brought global wealth or health or happiness.

Welfare, health, education services are a great motivator. Whichever religion addresses these issues will attract people. In many places, this is the great appeal of Islam. What are the implications to us?

In the past, missionaries were accused of bringing an alienist imperialist religion. but the most successful social movement of the 20th century is Christianity! communism and fascism are dead. Other movements have passed. Christianity remains. So the missionaries were actually effective, in spite of their flaws.

Christian history doesn not happen how or where we think. Ethiopia and Armenia were actually the first Christian staes. The historic norm of Christianity is persecution and oppression.

Christianity does not have a geographic core. In the 17th century, St Vincent de Paul, wrote during a time of religious chaos and people killing each other: "Jesus said his church will last till the end of time. He never ;mentioned Europe".

Look at Europe today, and think what it means for mission. We think of mission as something that goes from global north to global south. But it is now reversed. Missionaries are starting to come from the South, to evangelize secular Europe.

The US is not as badly off as Europe. The great commission is to preach the gospel to the whole world, but the world came here. For example, Nigerians are one of the world's diaspora people. Houston is the US center of Nigerian community. The US church can influence world policy, by acting politically to provide protection. This could include intervention in cases of forced conversion, for example.

El-Shaddai is a global trans-national Philippine church. Many of the 'invisible' people who serve us in diners are Philippinos who belong to this church. Talk to them!

Ask what other churches in your community are doing to provide assistance to the global church. You may have a church in your neighborhood with contacts in a third-world country. Maybe you can work together with them.

But the most important mission direction today is from the South to the South: Koreans going to Muslim nations; Brazilians in Africa; Nigerians in India.

Notes from Columbus: 5/4/2005 Rich Nathan

Rich Nathan is the Senior pastor of the Columbus Vineyard. His church was a wonderful host to us at the conference.

• II Tim 4, Paul draws a contrast between those who listen to teachers who say what they want to hear, and those he challenges to evangelism. He says: do the work of an evangelist.
  
• Are we a bulwark (protecting the church from erosion, and keeping it 'safe' from the outside), or a bulldozer (changing the landscape)?
  
• We need faith in the gospel (rather than in ourselves or our skills). We need to go to our community with confidence in the good news of christ. Preach good news. Good news! Christ can fill the hole in your soul. Good news! You can be gorgiven of your sins. Good news! To do a great job of evangelism, preach good news. God has done everything to secure for us what we could not do for ourself.
  
• Call for a public decision. Make the message clear. Don't blend a salvation call with something else, that might make the response ambiguous.
  
• Teach the church to be inviters. Pastors need to partner with the people. The people invite their friends to come, the pastor preaches the gospel.
  
• Model evangelism. Use every method, for example use the internet.
  
• Discipleship is like chocolate milk Christianity (all mixed up indistinguishably with life) rather than a grapefruit (in sections).
  
• We have to remove the impediment to the gospel. Quote authorities the listener will respect. Perhaps the New York times, or a secular authority. Try to be inclusive in your preaching, for example, make sure to not leave out women.
  
• Use apologetics as you preach. Remove issues that could keep someone from believing.
  
• Every community has boundaries, but the characteristic of Christianity is how it treats people outside the boundaries.
  
• Preach social justice.
  
• Treat people's doubts with respect.
  
• Christianity is not an argument that you are trying to win.
  
• Rich preaches to Christians and non-Christians together at each service. He thinks this trains and models for the church how to share their faith.
  
• Preach a freedom gospel, not just a forgiveness gospel. People aren't worried about justification.
  
• Speak to the lost
  
• Seak to seekers. Say 'you can find what you're looking for'.
  
• Speak to people in crisis.
  
• Speak to the successful but empty. Those who wonder 'is this all there is?'
  
• Believe in the power of the Holy Ghost.
  
• There comes a time when we need to call for a decision, to say yes to Jesus, to surrender.
  
• Tell people that the resistance they feel is from the enemy of their soul.
  

Notes from Columbus: 5/4/2005 Julia Pickerill

Julia Pickerill is a dynamic youth leader. She spoke with authority, while still being totally feminine. It was a terrific combination.

• The church is God's wonderful creation -- we should love it and speak well of it.
  
• New generations are always being birthed into the church.
  
• We need to look at how to bring the kingdom of God to the next generation.
  
• Who is the next generation? It doesn't all have one face.
  
• When we ask ourselves "what am I doing here?
  we can get into despair. Look at Romans 8. We need to get our eyes off of the bondage of decay and realize that thru Jesus we can be liberated.
  
• We ride behind the king. We ride behind Jesus, so we can go anywhere for the sake of the gospel of Jesus.
  
• It's not new -- our ministry is an incarnational ministry. When God wanted to save the world he went to them. What should we do?
  
  
  
  1. Go where they are
     
  2. Get to know who they are. Get to know them as they are.
     
  3. Serve and suffer and sacrifice for them.
     
  4. Tell them about Jesus.
     
  
  
• Look at how the emergent church is thinking. Here are the characteristics of the emergent church:
  
  
  
  • It is responding to postmodernity by evaluating the modern church. We should ask ourselves and evaluate ourselves (rather than evaluating other churches). Avoid a spirit of rebelliousness.
    
  • It evaluates modern Christians. So we should ask ourselves if we really reflect Christ. Don't be prideful or judgmental. Ask about yourself, not others.
    
  • It evaluates modern Christianity. So we need to be careful about what we do.
    
  • Evaluating postmodern culture. Note: he who marries the spirit of the age is sure to be a widow in the next. We need to be relevant to the people we are trying to reach. Ask yourself "what's for us and what's for them?" Make sure they can come in the door and that you are not creating barriers to their feeling at home. Do what brings them to Jesus. Do it, and if it works, do it some more.
    
  
  
• Challenge the young people to research what we can do about helping the emerging church in Africa. For example the AIDS crisis. The Sudan.
  
• Cutting edge form is easy: simply hold church at night, turn down the lights, and turn up the sound. But we need to concentrate on the function, not just the form.
  
• Be willing to go over the cliff, to take the gospel, healing, worship, justice, responsibility, liberation, to the next generation.
  
• Numbers 14 gives advice to older leaders.
  1)Identify new leaders who show courage, faith, whole-heartedness, people who show up.
  2)Identify older people who are relational and can help, or can host.
  
• Numbers 27:18-20 tells us: Release your younger leaders into significant ministry. Speak authority into them.
  
• Deut 8:2 tells us: Train up younger leaders. Tell our story to them.
  
• Deut 3:28 tells us: Encourage and strengthen younger leaders Tell them what their gifts are.
  
• Deut 5:32 tells us: Teach the leaders to obey God's word. Teach them to be God hearers and God obeyers.
  
• To older leaders, do this:
  
  
  
  • Parent the next generation
    
  • Make a place for the next generation
    
  • Don't be afraid of post-modern spirituality
    
  • Practice 'contact work' -- go somewhere that young people work.
    
  • Expect some chaos.
    
  
  
• To younger leaders, do this:
  
  
  
  • Deut 31 do not be afraid. Preach the gospel.
    
  • Deut 34:9 Receive teaching. Be humble.
    
  • Josh 24:15 choose this day who you will serve. Don't follow the idolatry of the culture.
    
  
  
• To everyone dealing with the next generation, choose these three preferences:
  
  
  
  • Choose function over form: are you seeing people being baptised, restored etc?
    
  • Choose Actions over words: Don't get too caught in dialog. Once the action works, then talk about it.
    
  • Choose Christ over cool. Suffering, service, and sacrifice won't fit into cool. We need to throw off everything that hinders us.