Daytime TV--the commercials

Now that I'm becoming a connoisseur of daytime TV, I'm realizing that it's not just the shows that are different, it's also the commercials.

Sitting at home, I have inadvertently entered a different culture. I'm learning about motorized scooters, for people who just can't get around anymore. Apparently the people with these scooters also get free plastic surgery so their mouths are fixed permanently in a smile position.

Then there are various health and pharmacy plans. The best ones let you see whatever doctor you like with no referrals and no co-pay, and also get prescriptions included. It sounded like a good deal to me, but I'm not on Medicare so I don't think I qualify. But I suspect there was some fine print.

Then there are the bed and mattress commercials. For some reason, the most prevalent mattress companies all begin with the letter 'S'. Sleepy's, Serta, Simmons. And the one showing the most ads now is Sleep Number. We are treated to innumerable little vignettes of happy couples, whose entire lives have been changed due to their ability to set the two sides of the mattress to different firmness levels. Each ad is structured like a classic short story, with a situation, a conflict and a resolution. Here the people start out frowning, and end up smiling.

Then there are the legal ads, such as the one trolling for clients with defective pacemakers, or people who have been injured in nursing homes. No one is smiling in these ads.

The only positive thing I can say about the daytime commercials, is that at least you can tell what the ad is about. But the topics are pretty darn limited. It's sort of like going to a library and suddenly realizing that they only have books in one genre, like sci-fi or short stories.

My big disappointment is that my favorite commercial in this genre is no longer shown. You would think that if they do re-runs on all the programs they could do re-runs on the commercials too. The tag line has entered popular culture as a quotable quote: "help! I've fallen and I can't get up".

I'm thinking of starting a petition for better commercials on daytime TV.