Cross cultural life milestones

When you share the same culture with someone, it's easy to know how to respond to life milestones. But it's more complicated when they have a different culture. So I try to just respond naturally and hope it's ok. I'm always wondering how I can show the love of Jesus to my co-workers, and I'm afraid that I'll inadvertently do something rude.

Last week, 'R's wife had a baby. I was looking for 'S', so I marched into their shared office, and 'R' announced the news. He has a bit of an accent, so he had to say it 3 times before I understood. Then, in his effort to communicate he gestured to some Indian pastries on the counter and said 'that is why this'. I assumed they were to share so I picked one and took a bite. I have found that whenever I taste Indian food, my Indian colleagues stare at me intently. But this makes it hard to know whether they are staring because I am doing something wrong. Frankly, I'm still not sure whether the silver coating was intended to be eaten or not. It didn't really taste like a food product. To distract us all from the half pastry I was still holding in my hand, I asked what his daughter's name was. It was unfamiliar to me, so I asked what it meant and he told me it was the name of a goddess. I was overwhelmed with sadness for this little girl whose very sense of self would be connected with this goddess, but I didn't know what to say. So I finally just murmured that it was a pretty name.

And then there was 'P'. He came up to me, beaming, and announced that he was getting married. I congratulated him and reminded him that he had already told me. But after a bit of a confused interchange, I finally realized that he was differentiating between the fact that he had gotten engaged in February, but now he actually had a wedding date scheduled, for May. I was totally touched by the fact that he made a point of saying that I am the 2nd person in the U.S. that he had told, ahead of all his compatriots. He feels a connection to me. He is hungry to be wise, so I tell him stories about Biblical wisdom. He liked hearing about Solomon, for example.

I was still trying to figure out if it was an arranged marriage, but I wasn't sure if it was polite to ask. So I said, "have you known her a long time, or only just now". His answer was "not just now, I have been engaged since February". So I'm still confused. Then he mentioned that he is already feeling the responsibility that will come when he is a married man. He explained that in his country, you are expected to stay married and not get divorced, so it is a bigger responsibility than it is in the US. I was saddened to realize that he assumes the US is a Christian country, and assumes that fidelity is not a Christian value.

He will only be here for another 2 weeks, and then he returns to India. I need wisdom and discernment to be able to communicate to him something of the love of God.