There's something on your forehead

Sitting at my desk today, I felt a real urge to celebrate Ash Wednesday. I know there are some churches near where I work, but most of them have signs in other languages. That raised the level of difficulty a little too high. I imagined myself ignorantly violating some religious custom, and not even being able to explain myself.

Lo and behold, one of my meetings was cancelled, and I suddenly realized I had time to run into New York, a daring thought, considering the fact that I usually eat at my desk. I decided to go to St. Bartholomew's, an Episcopal church I have visited before.

St. Bart's is a wonderful conglomeration of formal but friendly, and is liturgical but accessible. They reach out to the community in numerous ways, including serving breakfast to the hungry 3 days a week, and even running an 8-bed shelter. They actively encourage seekers, and have groups that meet on all different topics, some of which are explicitly Christian and some that are rather explicitly...not.

On 9/11, I was working a few blocks uptown when the news hit. At first, it was rather fragmentary. We didn't have a TV, our outgoing phone service didn't work, and the news websites had crashed. Finally a co-worker located upstate managed to call me to check on us, and he held his phone up to the TV, and that's how we heard the news. And then we started seeing people walk by on the sidewalk. Hundreds of stunned, exhausted, traumatized people. We realized as never before that Manhattan is an island, which was cut off from the rest of the world -- no bridges, tunnels or phones. So I decided to go to church.

I walked down to St Barts, wending my way through hundreds of people desperately plodding in the opposite direction. When I reached the church, I saw church members standing on the steps and sidewalk, handing out written prayers of comfort, selected for the tragedy of the day. And handing out water, I think. And there were big signs set up outside the church inviting people to come inside.

I entered the huge sanctuary (I think it seats 1200) and found that by chance I had arrived just as they were about to begin a service. People of all walks of life were there. Some were the normal celebrants, some were there like I was, looking for comfort, and some just wanted to rest their feet. All were made welcome. The priest addressed the uncertainty. He said that since no one yet understood the situation, they didn't know how to help, but that they would do whatever seemed helpful, including opening the church for people to sleep on the pews if that became necessary. I was grateful to have an option if need be. St. Bart's really came through in terms of stretching out an arm to the community.

Today, I went to get ashes, and found that I had arrived mid-way through the noon service. Even though I was peculiarly self-conscious I suddenly had an encounter with Grace. Suddenly I grasped the richness and beauty of the liturgy. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed with gratitude towards Jesus.

I'm not quite sure how this was possible, but I took a subway there and back, walked a few blocks, attended half of a service,laughed, cried, sang, prayed, received communion, went next-door to the chapel to receive my ashes, picked up some lunch at a cart next door, and took the subway back to work, in barely over an hour. And was touched by grace.

Back at work, I didn't notice anyone else with ashes. Most of the people on my floor are Hindu, a number are Jewish, and a handful are Muslim. Frankly speaking, it was my turn for forehead art. Most of my co-workers were too tactful to say anything, but M finally exclaimed: "Ann, you have something on your forehead!" I explained that it is a religious symbol, to show that God created us out of dust, and to remind us of Jesus' sacrifice for us. He was delighted to hear this, and said excitedly that they too put ashes on the forehead.

He was too polite to say that his tradition was better, but the subtext was clear. Rather than my measely once-a year ceremony, they get ashes "every time they visit the goddess". Oh well.

Pray that the true light that has come into the world would enlighten the hearts of M, and R, and A, and S, and B, and D, and H, and V, and S(another and another and another) and R(another one) and G, and K, and K(another) and N.