Don't look now, but someone's watching you.

Our lives are a witness in more ways than we expect. That can be both good and bad, depending on how seamlessly our Christianity is reflected in daily life. I remember that a former pastor of mine used to say that you shouldn’t put Christian bumper stickers on your car unless you could drive without exhibiting impatience, road rage, or rude gestures.
Even while we disparage other people for just being ‘Sunday’ Christians, the temptation is nearly irresistible. We may be subtler than those whose behavior on Monday through Saturday could get them arrested, but to some degree most of us slip to some degree, whether it is gossip or garden-variety unkindness. And people are watching us. Ironically, I think that non-believers often have higher expectations for us than other believers do. They are truly offended when we act like the rest of society.
I was reminded recently of the fact that people notice how we act. The context was in the workplace, and didn’t have anything to do with belief, but it was still a reminder that people observe us, and make inferences.
I had a bad week at work, and ended up arguing with someone. I didn’t say anything I regret, but I spoke with more heat than the situation really called for. I felt a little ridiculous afterwards, and confessed to my boss, whose reaction was reassuring. “Maybe he’ll actually pay attention to what you said because you don’t usually act like that.” So that one sort of ended up as a left-handed compliment.
There was a former boss who called me in one day and complained: “I notice that when you work late, such as 2 or 3 in the morning, that you are irritable the next day.” Let’s see, after working from 9am until 3am the next day, going home and sleeping for 2 hours and then taking the train back in to work at 9am again, he thought I was crabby? Well, he was correct, but I thought it was a stupid thing to say.
Last week a co-worker left to take a different position. When she announced her move to me, she said “you’re one of the people who made it hard”. I was really taken aback – I didn’t have all that much to do with her, but never thought we had a problem. But while I was trying to process this, she clarified – she meant that it was hard to make the decision to leave. She is a brilliant, poised, young woman, who was seeing me as a mentor and role model. I had no idea.
But that’s basically the point. We can be good role models, or we can be bad role models, but we’re role models whether we want to be or not.
Sometimes it’s funny. A friend of mine who is a teacher in Tennessee brought a number of her students on a field trip to NYC. And she informed them that they had to wear sneakers rather than high heels, and quoted as her authority her friend (me!) who works in NYC and knows what to do! I didn’t have a chance to tell her that 20 years ago when she knew me, there were a lot more women wearing sneakers than there are now. Somewhere in Tennessee 20 high school girls are probably still complaining about me. This is the first and last time anyone will make the mistake of thinking I’m a fashion maven.
Sometimes it’s frustrating. I’m peculiarly bad at recognizing people, so I always let the other person say ‘Hi’ first, so I can try to figure out if I know them. Even someone I work with, or whom I’ve known for years, might not register on my brain as someone I recognize. So people often assume that I’m unfriendly or intentionally avoiding them.
I remember a song that was popular some years ago that said: “You’re the only Jesus some will ever see”. It wasn’t meant to be heretical, it was simply pointing out the fact that most non-believers interact with and observe believers before they ever bother setting foot in a church.

Don’t look now, but someone’s watching you. What are they seeing?