It sounds easy, since I live alone, but the problem is that my mind is crowded even when I'm all by myself. Parenthetically, that makes it very convenient to 'blog', because I'm always thinking about 5 or 10 things at the same time, and I should be able to find one or two thoughts that are not totally private or humiliating. But back to the topic at hand.
So far, when I try to wait on the Lord, in solitude and silence, I am obsessed with distractions. My most fruitful times come when they flow naturally out of worship. I read something interesting in the Toronto Airport Fellowship newsletter a year or so ago. There was an article that dealt specifically with 'left brain' people. It suggested that we need to learn a way to shift out of the intellectual mode, and recommended singing worship songs as a transition into prayer, since the music is a right brain activity. This seems true to me, however even re-reading what I've just written makes me worry that it sounds like I'm using worship with an ulterior motive. I'd rather say that it is all part of worship.
I had an illuminating conversation with a friend, years ago. She was trying to explain to me the burden of being a person who was not intellectually oriented. At first I wasn't even listening that carefully -- she had always seemed very smart and capable to me, so I wasn't getting the point. But then she said something fascinating: "My brain is normally 'off', and I have to tell it to turn 'on' when I want to think about something." I was dumbfounded. My problem is the opposite. My brain is normally 'on', and I have trouble quieting it down, to just 'be'. When I'm really really engrossed in something, I go into a world of my own, and am not aware of anything else (I can stand waiting on a train platform and neglect to get on the train if I'm reading a good book), but most of the time my thoughts are bopping around like a ping-pong ball.
I've been trying hard to have a topic for each blog entry, because I assume that will make it more interesting, and easier to read, but just for fun, and contrast, here is what I'm thinking about right now:
-I have a meeting coming up in 21 minutes, and I need to check my notes and the meeting location.
-I'm still not sure when we'll get the apple juice for my outreach.
Steve's blog isn't loading properly because the Comment server seems to be down.
-I have to ask CM if it is true that we don't need to worry about FX swaps, because we will map them to be FX forwards.
-I have a list of emails and docs with various questions that are all not getting resolved -- maybe I need to bite the bullet and put them into an issue tracker.
-The manager in the next cube just mentioned my name. I wonder why he is talking about me.
-MC's father is still in the hospital. I hope he feels better soon. She is getting stressed out with the logistics.
-I've lent my car to her for the week, since hers is in the shop and she needs to get to work. But we have to connect for her to give it back.
-I should write KH a note thanking him for the great work he did in my apartment yesterday.
Do you see what I mean? People always recommend writing down the distracting thoughts so you can clear your mind, but I can't type fast enough to keep up. This wasn't the whole list of my current thoughts, but I thought that was enough of a sample. My brain is actually a highly efficient random thought generator!
+Lord, help me to quiet my mind+
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