What do you get if you mix 7 Indians, an Indonesian, a Brit, and an American?

It's either the beginning of a joke, or it's a description of a little gathering we had after work.

There were two purposes, the first was to say goodbye to one of the consultants who will be returning to India tomorrow, and the second was to collect donations for the march of dimes.

Since the guest of honor had not yet arrived, 'S' was making conversation, and commented that often the consultants go on vacation single, and come back married. A few acknowledging grins ensued, and then a discussion of arranged marriages. Several were strong proponents. 'P' explained that his own marriage was arranged.

I had an immediate flashback to the one other thing I know about his wife. She is said to be a good cook. One day 'P' called me over and kindly offered me an 'Indian donut' that she had made. He told me that it was not sweet, and that it perhaps had a surprise in it. I was happy to have the opportunity to try something special --- but when I got to the 'surprise' I realized why Dunkin Donuts is probably not going to roll out a line of pastries flavored with chunks of jalapenos.

But in the meanwhile, the conversation was continuing, assisted by a pitcher of sangria. They explained that the advantage of an arranged marriage is that your family knows and checks out the other family, so you are less likely to be faked out by someone. I mentioned that you would really have to trust your family, if they were going to pick your mate for you. They all thought that was very funny. But they admitted that some of them now use a hybrid approach which they feel gives them the best of all worlds -- their families check out the candidates, but they retain veto power. 'P' claims that their divorce rate is only 2%, because they take their marriage commitment seriously. We all agreed that that's way better than the American averages.

So then I tried interjecting a monkey wrench into the conversation, and informed them that in my religion we also behave differently from the rest of America, for example, we don't live together before marriage. It seemed a new idea to them that all Americans were not the same.

It may have looked like an evening of Sangria and Tapas, but it was actually bridge building.