Our latest assignment for VLI was to prepare and deliver a sermon on the Sermon on the Mount. I was so intimidated I could hardly stand it. I had panicked thoughts of a slip of the tongue: "what Jesus was trying to say here..." as if I thought I could help Him out by communicating better. I tried to pray for direction, but got to the point where I really wasn't sure if the ideas in my head were inspiration, or just human thoughts. I chose Matthew 7:24-27.
24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
So Friday evening, I was on the train coming home from work, reviewing the 4th draft of my sermon. And I started overhearing a conversation in the cluster of seats across the aisle.
[Scene: Rush hour on the Long Island Railroad]
He: well, what kind of a Christian is she? Is she a born-again Christian, or a Catholic Christian?
She: [mumble]
He: well, after [so-and-so] became a born again Christian, all she talked about was God, God, God, God, God. It gave me the heeby-jeebies.
Me: [chuckling]
She: Oh, I hope we are not disturbing you.
Me: [walking over to her and whispering to her]. You're not disturbing me. But I'm trying to write a sermon, and I'm listening to see if I can hear any material.
She: [laughing, turns to him] You won't believe this! She's writing a sermon, and she's looking for material. [turning to me] Can I read it?
Me: [handing her the sermon, which happens to be open to a page with an example about exercise] Sure -- try reading this page.
She: [reading and commenting] Oh, Pilates, I've tried that... [laughing] but you didn't even do it!...Yeah, everybody does that with exercise machines... I've tried a pedometer too... An exercise hypocrite! You actually say that! I can relate to this. What kind of Christian are you?
Me: I'm a born again Christian
He: I hope I didn't offend you.
Me: You didn't offend me, but I'd like to apologize.
He: Apologize? What for? You didn't do anything.
Me: Well, if somebody gave you the heeby jeebies, I'd like to apologize.
He: You don't have to.
Me: Really, I'd like to apologize.
[Now an elderly gentleman suddenly got up and stood in front of me]
Gentleman: I'm sorry dear, I cannot help you.
Me: [confused] you can't?
Gentleman: I can't help you with material for your sermon, because I am a very secular person.
Me: You know, it's very interesting that you say that, because Jesus used a lot of secular examples in his preaching.
Gentleman: What do you mean?
Me: Well, for example, Jesus told an example of a foolish man who built his house on the sand, and the storm came, and the house was washed away, but the wise man build his house on the rock, and the storm came, but the house still stood.
[the train pulled into the station, the doors opened and the 'congregation' exited, waving]
Me: God bless you.
The whole scene was like a really implausible screenplay.
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